Untitled Statements

Quick tip No. 13

2012-01-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

Just avoid using the third person on your facebook status.

*disclaimer: this is going to be a long post about grammar
*nuther disclaimer: this only mildly irritates me enough to write a blog post about it. If you're guilty of changing voice in your status updates (and I may very well be as well), we can still be friends. This is just a quick tip. And I'm not your grammar police, even if I DID get a badge for it in 7th grade English.

The problem with changing voice in facebook statuses stems from the olden days of facebook, when your status automatically defaulted to "So-and-so is..." and you put your text after that, and the text appeared right after your name. Folks, the automatic and forced "is" is gone now. There's no reason to use the passive verb, and no reason to think you need to default to third person.

The biggest problem here is that people don't understand that they have started in a passive, third person voice, so as their sentence progresses, they switch to the more common and comfortable first person.

Here's an example. THIS IS WRONG:

Sally Schnawz
is really excited about my nose job surgery! I love it!

First, take a look at your facebook news feed and notice that facebook has now put the text under your name. That way, we all get that the next bit of text is from you, and Facebook is not forcing you to start a sentence with your name anymore! Secondly, when you update similarly to the example above, it sounds like you are saying that a third party person with your name (Sally) is excited for you, and you love that she is excited for you. What you really tried to say is that you, Sally, are excited about and love your nose job. So you should just say that. THIS IS RIGHT:

Sally Schnawz
I am really excited about my nose job surgery! I love it!

Don't get it yet? here are a couple actual examples from people with whom I am friends on facebook, complete with an explanation of what English tells us they said, my understanding of what they tried to say, an example of what they should have said had they really wanted to continue in the third person, and and example in first person. I make learning fun!

Helen Hungrypants
really wants Cafe Rio for lunch... wish it wasn't far away! I have a free meal!

What it really means: Person A knows someone named Helen. Helen wants Cafe Rio. Person A wants to use his or her free meal card to satiate Helen's desires for a salad, loaded with more than the daily allotment of calories for the average person. And a soda. Because free meals come with a soda.
What Helen tried to say: Helen, herself, is craving Cafe Rio and wants to use her free meal card to get something for lunch, but Cafe Rio is far away. Shucks.
Third person example: Helen Hungrypants really wants Cafe Rio for lunch and wishes it wasn't far away! She has a free meal!
First person example: I really want Cafe Rio for lunch. I wish it wasn't far away; I have a free meal!

Theresa Therapist

Thinks I am going to like this semester. Love my play therapy class & hope I can learn a lot in my marriage & family therapy class!

What it really means: Person A knows someone named Theresa. Theresa thinks Person A is going to like school this semester. Person A loves Play Therapy and is looking forward to Marriage and Family Therapy. The rest of us aren't sure why Theresa has anything to say about Person A's class schedule.
What Theresa tried to say: Theresa, herself, thinks she is going to like the semester and wants to give some key examples to demonstrate why.
Third person example: Theresa Therapist thinks she is going to like this semester. She loves her play therapy class and hopes she can learn a lot in her marriage and family therapy class!
First person example: I am going to like this semester. I love my Play Therapy class and I hope I can learn a lot in my Marriage and Family Therapy class! Also, I need to take a basic grammar class as soon as possible!

There are countless additional examples. As you can see from the given third person examples, third person doesn't quite flow because no one talks that way (except maybe The Jimmy). Just stick to talking in the first person, because you're naturally going to flow that way anyway. It'll save us all the trouble of struggling to figure out what you're really talking about.

Quick tip No. 12

2011-12-14T07:59:00.003-07:00

If you don't immediately rinse out oatmeal from your bowl at breakfast, it will become so rock hard, you may believe it could rival cement. If you want any tiny rolled oats to be removed from the bowl after they've been allowed to dry, it will take AT LEAST two tries in the dish washer, or an hour soaking in the sink.

Toddler Brain

2011-12-12T09:01:00.001-07:00

This may only be funny if you have a toddler... Since my kid is just starting to toddle, it's kinda funny. Maybe less so to Hayley, who has to deal with the worst parts of the tantrums, whining, "no," and all the rest much more than I do.

Image from graphjam.com

Below I have given a few updates to this graph for the Mikey brain:

He has yet to develop the play-doh center of the Worthwhile-Food Cortex
His Muppet-Appreciation lobe is not at all developed
Instead of "Daddy's shoes" in the Toy-Recognition Cortex, he has developed a section for measuring cups and large serving utensils, especially spoons
His Cartoon Addition Lobe is not fully developed
His Endless-Repetition Stem does not contain "The Wheels on the Bus," and "Goodnight Moon" is only part of his nighttime brain function. "No!" is definitely the dominate section of this area
Surprisingly, his Acceptable-Medicine Center is completely normal. No aversion to actual medicines, except shots, of course

Do you see any changes you'd make? OR additional brain centers in the kids with whom you interact?

We'll get 'em next year!

2011-12-08T10:43:00.001-07:00

Remember when I said I would try to write a novel in a month? Remember how it didn't go so well? Well, the honest truth is I quit. It was hard! I couldn't figure out what to make my characters do before they got to the big stuff I had planned for them. I would get behind and then freak out at how many extra words I'd have to write the next day to catch up. Then, I decided to bag what I had started, and do something else entirely. That didn't pan out as well as I hoped would.

image from toothpastefordinner.com

On top of the book writing stress, there were a few other things requiring my attention and they were also stressing me out. When I decided I wasn't going to write my book anymore, It was a big relief. But I do want to write that book. So as part of my resolutions for the new year, I am going to attempt NaNoWriMo again in 2012.

So there. That's my update on the writing.

In unrelated news, I figured out that I'm still logged into Hayley's YouTube account on my phone, so I posted a BUNCH of videos of Mikey there. Click the button over there on the right to see 'em.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2011-11-24T20:58:00.001-07:00

This is how our Thanksgiving started (sort of).

It was a very pretty start to the day, but by the end, I was pretty tired, and ready to see what tomorrow had in store. But I get ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning.

Mikey woke up at 2:00 a.m. He has a raging diaper rash, and also has diarrhea, which then irritates his little bum even worse. So when he woke up at two, it was because he had pooped, his bum was hurting, and he needed a new diaper. Changing the diapers when his bum is so bad (seriously, it's got bleeding sores and blotchy redness all over) is quite and ordeal. We use sensitive wipes, then cloth wipes with soap to really clean it all off, then a cloth wipe with just water to rinse it all off, then either air dry or use Hayley's hair dryer to get it good and dry, then put on the diaper, then some Nistatin cream, then this concoction made of plain yogurt (to help get rid of yeast that is making the rash worse) and Malox (to help get rid of the acid that is eating away at his bum).

Anyway, so he wakes up, we change him, I snuggle him back to sleep, then he starts crying half an hour later, we check, he pooped AGAIN, we change the diaper again, and this time he's way less inclined to sleep. I had to sit and rock him for another half hour, and at abut 3:30 a.m., I went back to sleep. Then, he woke up a little before 6:00 a.m., and we had to do another diaper change. Hayley and I tag team these diapers, because it's nice to have someone go get the soapy wipe, warm water wipe, and yogurt/Malox concoction while the other starts getting him out of pajamas to change the diaper, do the wiping, etc. The 6:00 a.m. wake up time wouldn't have been so bad, except for the issue of being up from 2-3:30 the same morning. We were tired, but still looking forward to the day!

While Mikey was up, Hayley made her super awesome green bean dish (having already made deviled eggs and a killer cheese cake the night before), and I made mashed potatoes. Sometime between Mikey's 6:00 a.m. diaper change and starting to make the food, Hayley said something to the effect of "Let's make sure we have a really good day today, ok?" To which I responded with a smile and whole-hearted agreement. My mashed potatoes were awesome, by the way.

Later, Mikey wouldn't take his nap at 9:00 a.m. like he usually does, even though at 8:30 he was beside himself, he was so tired. We wanted him to wake up at 11:00 a.m. so we could head to Tiffanie's for Thanksgiving. Well, he finally went down at about 10:30, and slept until we woke him up at noon. Because there is a huge ordeal with diaper changes, we had all sorts of stuff to take with us, and because he's getting a cold on top of the horrid diaper rash, we took the pack-n-play thinger so he would have somewhere to take a nap, so he wouldn't be such a monster all day. That totally worked and he took a great afternoon nap.

The meal at Tiff's was awesome. The turkey was great, the stuffing was great, the sweet potatoes were great, the green beans were great, the appetizers were great. It was all great. The deserts... everything! The semi-nap on the couch while watching movies and TV was good, too. Mikey started fading at about 6:30 p.m., so we started packing up all our baby things, and somehow left with more food than we brought.At home, we unpacked, then started getting Mikey ready for bed.

As I was changing his clothes, I was greeted with a treat. Mikey had a blow out. There was poop everywhere. Hayley came to help, we got him, his clothes, and the changing table cleaned up, put in the wash, gave him a bath, and got him ready for bed. After I got his diaper on, I noticed that the cotton balls that we used to dab on the yogurt/Malox had fallen behind his bed, so I bent down to get them, and while reaching under the bed, I knocked the stand that was holding the yogurt/Malox concoction, and it fell on the floor. So I had Hayley help me again with wet rags so I could clean that up, too. Then, we FINALLY got Mikey to bed!

While I was getting Mikey ready for bed (and spilling yogurt/Malox on the floor, then cleaning it up), Hayley was reclaiming the kitchen. We had left dishes from all our cooking endeavors in the sink, and the kitchen wasn't it's cleanest; not a TOTAL wreck, but not clean. Hayley was on a roll from helping with the blow out, getting things in the laundry, putting things away from the Thanksgiving visit, so she kept being productive in the kitchen. She also decided the microwave needed to be cleaned. She did this little trick where you microwave a little water with lemon oil, which helps break up all the junk in your microwave. After she had wiped down most of the microwave, she asked me to get the back wall of it, because doing so was hurting her back. I happily jumped in on the productive measures, and wiped it down. We decided that because the microwave was so gross, we'd do the little trick with the water and lemon oil again, and do a final wipe down. Well, after the stuff had been in the microwave for about 30 seconds, the door opened, the glass tray jumped, and the water and oil spilled. It scared me to death! I may or may not have cursed, and wanted toss out the thing right then and there.

After the microwave explosion, Hayley said, "What a night!" But even with the early morning wake ups, struggling naps, messy kitchen, diaper blow out, and microwave explosion, we had a great day. I had a good time with Hayley and Mikey, Tiffanie was a great hostess, and visiting with her, her family, my mom and dad, and McKay was nice. Mikey loved Tiff's dogs and hanging out with Nana and Papa, a fellow red-headed cousin, and some aunts and uncles. We had some great food. And we were thankful. It was a full day, but a great day. It goes to show that if you decide you want a nice day, you can have one. It was a really good day. Hope you had a good one, too!!

Writing marathon?

2011-11-07T07:46:00.002-07:00

I saw this on graphjam.com. I don't know if NaNoWriMo is "high-stakes" per se, but this is how I've spent the last 5 or 6 days in relation to this little writing marathon.

Day... what is it, 6 now?

2011-11-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

So my novel writing is not going well. It is not nearly as long as it should be by now, and I'm finding I lack motivation to do this. I am finding that my story is more of a short story than a novel. I think of ways to add to it, but I lack the desire to write about those added situations. This is all much more difficult than I thought! ...not that I thought it would be a breeze...

I start to write, but I get sick of it, get itchy all over, or can't figure out how to move the story along. I wrote a paragraph like eight times tonight and deleted it just as many times. My target should be 1,667 words per day, but I'm nowhere near that. I didn't write at all the last two days, and it is looking like I won't do much tonight, either. If I look at the word count I need to make up, it's a bit daunting. If I spread it out over the whole month, it just means I have to write 1,888 words per day instead, which is less daunting, but if I can't get 1,667 words out, how do I add 220-ish words each day from here on out??

I keep thinking maybe I should scratch this story and try something different. Something where I don't have any idea of what will happen, so I can sort of make it up more as I go along. It will mean all this writing I have done so far is wasted, but maybe it's worth it??? Thinking about it is making me itchier...

***update at 12:06 a.m. I restarted. Or rather, started something new. And I wrote over 1,900 words tonight! I might stick with this new novel. But I'm even more afraid to tell you what it's about than the last story I was working on, so... we'll see how it goes and how I feel about it in the morning.

Day 2

2011-11-03T08:50:00.001-06:00

My second day of novel writing did not go great. I wrote more than the first day, but I'm still not at the word count I should be. I do have the excuse of stomach flu the day before yesterday and recovering still yesterday, but I need to get moving on this. I've got 1,932 words. I should be at 3,334. That means I have to catch up 1,402 words, including the additional 1,667 new words I need today. Maybe I should get one of those meter thingers to put on my side bar...

My problem right now seems to be that I don't really want to do the character building that is necessary. I want the reader (if there ever will be a reader) to already understand the characters. I'm not sure how to give them experiences that explain their thoughts and actions, so you get to know them as they exist in my head. There's a really big event going to happen at the end of Kathy's work day, but I really need to get through her work day first, giving situations that let you know what makes her tick. And I just want to skip to the event...

If any of you want to help, can you give me a description about what it's like to work in retail? Maybe working in a clothing department of a store, or something like that? That might help, actually. And I'll name a side character after you if you help. :) Hmm... maybe I'll just come to the interwebs when I need help with what to do next. So if you can, PLEASE HELP!

I think I'm doing it...

2011-11-02T10:18:00.000-06:00

Writing that book, I mean...

My friend is also doing NaNoWriMo, and she did a post about how day one went. In order to get 50,000 words by the end of the month, you need to write 1,667 words per day. My end-of-day word count was 721. I need about a thousand more words, which means I need to make that up today. Considering everyone in my house had the stomach flu yesterday, I think I get a pass on that, but that doesn't mean I get to be the only one that writes 49,000 words in this little competition/activity. I'm having trouble getting through the first day and figuring out who these characters are and how they interact. Once I get that down, I think writing about them will be a little easier.

To tell you about my book, I don't think it's going to be a happy book. It might be a little depressing. And I'm not sure if I'm going to share it with anyone. I get very self-conscious about fiction writing. I am just fine showing what I've done for work or school, but anything I write for fun, I suddenly don't want you to not like it, because that will mean you don't like me.Or I'll take it personally, and it will create some wedge between us. Or you will like it, and will somehow know secrets about me I didn't intend to tell. But I think by the end of the month, I'll get over that. I'll let you know how things go, and if anyone really wants to read it, I'll let you. I think.

So my story. There are two main characters. Kathy and Jonathan/Jon. I keep wanting to change Jon's name, but because there has been so much advice to NOT edit and just write, he's going to be Jon at least through the end of November. So far, I have almost written John, Steve, Mark, and one other name that inspired this blog post, but now I can't remember it. They're a couple living together in Chicago who have been together for a while and it's comfortable. They might get married. But it's still a depressing story, trust me.

Is anyone else out there writing for NaNoWriMo, or doing any other writing at all? Care to share?

What if you wrote a book...

2011-10-18T12:34:00.000-06:00

Let's say you heard about this thing where you try to write a novel in a month. Not so much based on quality, but on quantity--you just need to get the words on paper/file. You have to write 50,000 words (about 175 pages) in a month. That's about 1,667 words a day, every day, for all of November.

What would you write about?

Do you already have some story in mind, and you've never taken the time to write it? Is there something completely new, or some idea you've never expanded upon to use for this challenge? Seriously, what kind of book would you write, and what would you write about?

...and let's say I decided to do this thing. What do you think I should write about? Would you want to read all 50,000 of my words? For context, my last post was about 580 words. I'd have to write just over double that each day...

Construction

2011-10-14T19:35:00.002-06:00

Remember how mad Mikey got at construction? Well, I'm as irate at he was tonight.

So on our way to return a couple items to the store, we were faced with even more construction on 7800 South. I was expecting this. I was even glad to see some actual progress, rather than just one strip of road ripped up and undrivable, they've ripped up half the street. It's got to start somewhere. I was prepared to wait 3 or 4 light changes to make it across the intersection; what I wasn't prepared for was the idiot moving cones.

First, let me say I have some respect for construction workers. It's hard work (while, yes, there does seem to be a lot of standing around...), and it something I wouldn't do, but I'm glad there is someone to actually do it. But this guy doesn't deserve much respect. Let me setup this story.

We were in line to turn left on New Bingham Highway, right at 4000 South in front of Target. It was about 5:00 p.m., so traffic was pretty heavy, and the line to turn left had piled up beyond the given left turn lane. This is not an unusual occurrence. Add construction to the heavy traffic and you can imagine how slow things go and how tight space is. We move 3 or 4 cars at each green light, slowly but steadily moving forward, but being completely stationary most the time. During one of those not-moving-at-all-on-a-highway moments, a less than intelligent construction worker places one of those heavy cones right in front of my car, gives no instruction--doesn't even look me in the eye--and turns around to walk back away from me toward the traffic light. I was shocked. What did he want me to do? I waved at him to try to get some instruction, but instead, he plopped the next cone in front of the car in front of me. That car made the sharp turn into the traffic lane to our right, and tried to continue moving on. I was flabbergasted. And stuck.

The construction worker just kept walking away. The traffic wasn't getting any lighter, and there were cars behind me. So I did what any sensible person would do. I put my car in park, got out, and moved the cone out of my way. The construction worker finally noticed my existence, and ever so eloquently yelled at me, "PUT IT BACK!!" Seriously? What the heck do you want me to do? Stay there all day? Do you not realize you placed a cone six inches from my bumper and gave me no other instruction on what to do about that situation? So I, with equal eloquence, yelled back to him, "YOU PUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, YOU IDIOT?!!?!" His response was again, "PUT IT BACK!!" To which I responded by getting in my car, closing my door, and driving away.

I can tolerate construction (somewhat). But this was ridiculous. I'm glad you can lift a shovel, but maybe blocking cars into your construction zone in rush hour traffic may not help your cause, nor will it do much for the reputation of your fellow construction workers. All it would have taken to get the result you wanted was a meager point to the left (you didn't even need to make eye contact), and 6 to 12 more inches of space. Jackass.

Primary

2011-07-17T15:17:00.003-06:00

Here's the truth: I'm not loving teaching primary. I don't like that both Hayley and I are teachers, but we're not in the same class. we're not even in the same primary group--she's in senior primary, I'm in junior. I don't like that I came in in the middle of the year, so I didn't get to be the one who lays down ground rules. I don't like that my teacher companion guy is old enough to be my dad, we don't relate to one another, he's gone all the time, is sometimes mean to the loud kid in our class, but doesn't discipline at all. I'm annoyed with the one kid that won't shut up the whole time and the girl that can't seem to keep her dress down. I'm sick of rushing through lessons that no one listens to, just to get to the coloring so they'll focus on that one thing.

I whined about all this to Hayley today, and she gave me some great advice on how to teach kids. She was sympathetic to my complaints, and understood that I want to talk to the primary presidency and have us be put together, but I think we'll hold off on it. It may not be easier to try to teach class with Mikey (we both just take him to sharing time since we're there at different hours), and if this is how we were called, maybe I need to figure out what I need to learn from this calling, and what I need to teach these kids. She pointed out that a coloring page may be age appropriate for them, but there are ways to get them to pay attention. It was a very helpful conversation, and while I still wasn't super excited about church today, I felt armed with some new tools to teach.

In class today, I did some massive positive reinforcement and it was awesome. They payed attention, they were reverent, and while I still somewhat rushed through the lesson, we got through the whole thing, and only spent ten minutes on the coloring (as apposed to the 20-30 minutes that sometimes happens). Sure, the one super talker kid wasn't there, but if the rest of them are that good next week, he'll start falling into line. I'm hopeful and actually enjoyed church today.

And I wanted to share this with you. While looking online for a coloring page, I found this gem. As you can obviously see, Jesus is the mysterious hooded one, God is the shirtless, bald guy with great abs, and the Holy Ghost is the fiery one like God, but with blank, hollow eyes. Just as I imagine the Trinity to look. Surrounded by stars and planets, like superheros. ...but to avoid parents getting all up in my grill about false doctrine and whatnot, I decided to go with something else. Hope you got a kick out of it like I did.

So here's hoping things continue to go well!

Tales from first class

2011-07-14T17:27:00.000-06:00

I've been on a few business trips lately that were given very short notice. This usually means the flights are sold out and expensive, and all that is left is a first class seat. In addition to my first time ever in first class, I wanted to share some experiences I've had. To keep it somewhat shorter than to what I may be prone, I'll give them to you in bullets. The bullets will be followed by narrative, so if you get bored, you can skim.

First class will change you. The first time I flew first class, I felt bad. Like I was trying to be someone I'm not, that I was slighting my fellow middle-class Americans. When they gave me a meal, I still ate it, but could NOT look at the people in coach sitting behind me. I noticeably avoided looking behind me (which is odd, because I never look behind me on a plane anyway, but this was so deliberate). I was the last seat in first class. The second time, I noticed that there were 4 other iPads up in first class. I have one, so I felt like one of the elite. I enjoyed the beverage service before the flight began. I left perfectly good pieces of melon on the lunch plate because I could. I also pitied the poor saps that had to board after me, and thought about how sad it must be to have no leg room back in coach. The saddest part is that now that my last-minute flights are done, I'll probably never ride in first class again, and I'll again be put next to a large (not chubby, but large) 6'4" dude, and try to keep my arms folded in an attempt to not touch him at all during a three hour flight (yes, that did happen).
Everyone has a twin. In a single night, in a single restaurant, I saw the twins of a girl I worked with at my first out-of-college job (and almost waved to her and went to ask her what she was doing in Austin), a girl I knew from my freshman year of college, and a guy I knew in high school. I'm not exaggerating. Just so you know I'm not lying, the names of the real people are RB, Hayley (yep, she spells her name like Hayley), and Ryan. The doppelgangers could have stood next to the real people (the people I actually know are the real ones. Obviously.), and passed as twins.
It is weird to eat at the bar alone and not order alcohol. But what else do you do? You can take up a whole table for a server, and get your one meal. They have to do all the same amount of work, but for half the tip, because it's just a party of one. The bar, on the other hand, is full service like a table, but it's the freakin' bar. And you're the weirdo that says, "Now that you've explained the great, happy hour deals on shots, beers on tap, and colorful mixed drinks, I'm going to go a head and order a water." When eating alone, I often get a soda solely because I feel I owe it to the server to get something that costs money so their tip will be bigger.
Austin, TX has lots of christian rock stations, Latin stations, and country stations. I surfed through the radio stations and found a TON of christian rock. Or christian talk, with rock mixed in. I'm not going to lie, I sat and listened a while. If I lived there, I may or may not want at least one on a preset. Just for kicks. On a related note, there are also tons of country music stations and Hispanic music stations. And only two alternative rock stations, and one of those has poor reception. The one that I've taken a liking to has a British lady on the morning show, and likes to play a LOT of Hoobastank. I heard no less than three Hoobastank songs on the way back to the hotel one night.
Everyone obeys the speed limit in Austin. Seriously, there are very few that speed. In SLC, people go 75 mph on the freeway and don't bat an eye, and if you're not going at least 5 over, EVERYONE is passing you. In Austin, there are sections where the limit is 55, and everyone complies. I like it. It may be because they have a zillion cops on the roads. All the roads. At all times.

Maybe we're ALL a bit narcissistic

2011-06-25T21:34:00.002-06:00

So I was listening to the radio today, and the song "Good Life" by Onerepublic came on. I like the song, and it has even made it onto a CD of favorites that is currently in the car. So I continue listening, singing along because I'm alone in the car and can shout at the top of my lungs, and it gets to this part:

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A., they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so....

and so on. Well, to my surprise, some of the lyrics were changed. Instead, it goes like this:

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in UTAH, they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so...

and so on. I don't know if you noticed the subtle difference.

It's like, all us folks listening in Utah are supposed to look at each other with super excited grins, saying "Hey, hheeeeeeyyyyy, HEY! Yeah, yeah yeah!! YEAH!" to each other while nodding our heads like this is the greatest thing that ever happened.

Look, I know Utah is not really going to be so inspiring to the likes of Onerepublic that it will get a melodic shout out. Maybe by the Beach Boys, sure. But not Onerepublic. There are LOTS of places that don't get shoutouts. New York, Los Angeles, Paris, etc., sure, they get mentioned. Those of us in other towns don't really take offense to not being mentioned by mainstream musicians. But are we gullible enough and narcissistic enough to really be excited when bands change the lyrics to songs to make us feel like they really love us?

Welcome to the hotel, Arizona!
Just a city boy, born and raised in South Houston
I left my heart in Springfield

Come on. Those aren't the lyrics and we know it, and I find the changes annoying. Just leave it as is. Onerepublic (or maybe the DJs that changed the lyrics), I know you don't have any friends in Utah. But we'll listen to your music. It's still good without mention of salty lakes, snow, or canyon lands. You don't have to fake it.

A bit narcissistic?

2011-06-21T08:02:00.000-06:00

I don't know how it happened, but somehow I "followed" my own blog. It's the only blog listed on my profile as a blog I follow, even though there are over 100 blogs in my google reader--and this somehow made a "blogs I'm following" folder in my reader, too. I don't want my own blog listed as a followed blog on my profile! Nor do I want this extra folder in reader. Anyone know how to remove it?

So mad!!

2011-06-17T08:48:00.003-06:00

Mikey gets so mad sometimes! Not really, it's like he's playing at yelling. Because we'll both laugh, and he keeps doing it. Hayley posted some pictures of how mad he gets. I recorded this video and started asking his opinion on a few things. Seems like between the GOP depates [sic], the state of the economy, and potholes, the thing that gets Mikey most riled up is potholes. Take a look. (And please excuse the camera work. I was holding the camera away from him, so he'd still look at me or Hayley, and it went a little off to the side at times.)

Woah!!

2011-05-27T22:06:00.003-06:00

When Mikey gets too excited, he's started saying, "Woah!" a whole buncha times. It's dang cute. In the tub tonight, he was going nuts! I pulled out my phone and took this video, and of course because there was a camera, he didn't do it quite so much. This video does, however, show a few other Mikey-isms.

0:03 -- you can see and hear him do this little mouth grunty noise he makes when he's hungry. I can't even mimic the sound
0:15 and 1:35 -- he claps with toys in his hands
0:31 -- he sorta does his "woah!"
0:44 -- he does a fake cough
0:47 -- he lets out a loud "aaahhhhhh"
1:42 -- he gets so excited, he has to smile big, kick his feet, and bounce
1:50 -- he gives a better "woah! woah!"
2:06 -- his dad says "oh, goodness" in baby talk for the billionth time
2:16 -- he gives a little more concerned "woah!"

Yeah... I know I'm a dork, but I just love everything about this kid!

Quick tip No. 11

2011-05-25T16:02:00.003-06:00

Wikipedia is really all about philosophy.

I just found this out from xkcd.com; specifically, this comic's alt tag text.

"Wikipedia trivia: if you take any article, click on the first link in the article text not in parenthesis or italics and then repeat, you will eventually end up at Philosophy."

I tried it twice. With the speed of light (took 8 clicks), and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (took 15 clicks), and it totally happened. (As a side note, what does it say about me that those were the first two articles I searched for when testing this hypothesis? Your comments are appreciated.)

The Brain

2011-05-20T14:41:00.001-06:00

So the iPad has that weirdy setting for taking pictures that distorts everything, right? Well, I took a picture of Mikey a while ago, and it totally looked like The Brain (from Pinky and The Brain). What do you think?

Quick tip No. 10

2011-05-16T19:55:00.000-06:00

When using eye drops (or having someone else put them in because you can't bring yourself to put drops in your own eyes) it is probably best not to close your eyes so tight your lashes can barely be seen, or to shake your head back and forth so your eyes are inaccessible.

Hayley does this. It's kinda funny. But she has pink eye, the poor thing, so I have to put eye drops in her eyes 4 times a day. I seem to have to remind her a few times that I don't even have the lid off of the dropper.

Happy Mother's Day, Hayley!

2011-05-08T07:00:00.003-06:00

I just love ya! You're the best Momma for Mikey boy that could ever be. You love him so much, it's palpable at times. Just the mere thought of him can make you cry, laugh, or just smile. You love him, smile at him, play with him, feed him, change him, and protect him. You let him nap on you, play with you (even when he gets rough and goes for the face), and you can tell how much he loves you. You don't need to do anything but walk in the room and that little guy lights up, smiles, laughs, and gets so excited he can't help but get those hands and feet going.

We love you so much and hope you have a great day today!

Love,

Your boys.

And here's one of my favorite videos of all time.

Heaven Tetris

2011-04-22T14:55:00.019-06:00

There's a web comic I read called xkcd.com. You should check it out. The guy posted this a few days ago:

And then some genius internet person made this:

Enjoy my friends. Enjoy.

***UPDATE*** I un-posted this because the dang embedded thinger wasn't working... is it working for anyone here? If not, go to this site: http://www.gudmagazine.com/games/heaven/

Grammar Nazi

2011-04-15T11:55:00.001-06:00

Ok, there's a site called ParentsShouldntText.com that features the technological blunders some parents face when dealing with smart phones and stupid autocorrect. Some of them are silly. Some of them just highlight the typical attitudes of parents. This one showed up today, and I needed to share. I love it.

Tubby Time

2011-04-12T19:08:00.000-06:00

I flopped the wash cloth on Mikey's head last night. He thought it was funny, then just went about his business splashing in the tub. I told Hayley to grab the camera, and then I took a few pictures. I like this little boy, let me tell ya.

Here are a few without the flash and trying to learn to use our camera.

And here are a few with full auto.

Teen Mom

2011-04-12T09:56:00.005-06:00

When Hayley was pregnant, she somehow became aware of the show "16 and Pregnant." I watched it a couple of times, but it made me so angry at these stupid teenage kids that I finally had to tell her to watch it without me. The kids in the show have made decisions beyond their maturity level and demand to be treated like "adults," yet still live with their parents, don't pay bills, don't work, are in no way trying to better their situation, and still act like kids. The worst part, in my opinion, is that a new show blossomed from "16 and Pregnant" called "Teen Mom," which documents and follows the stories of the dumbass kids that can't figure out how to be parents now that this baby has inconvenienced their lives. (On a related note, life is so unfair. These ill-equiped children have babies because they can't keep their legs crossed, yet friends of mine struggle months and years to have a baby. But that's another topic for another day.)

I'm not against teenagers acting like teenagers. When I was a teenager, I did many things that were completely stupid that I thought were perfectly rational. Like let girls put over 200 rubber bands in my hair on a tour bus just before a marching band competition, or ditch a school assembly to play Golden Eye in my parents' basement, or force my friends to jump out of my car as I slowed down in front if their houses so I wouldn't have to stop and worry that the engine would die because I didn't put enough oil in it. All of these things would (and did) make my parents shake their heads at me or want to ground me. In all fairness, they would have been within their rights to ground me--there ARE consequences to stupid teenage choices after all. You can teach all you want, but even if your kid farts rainbows, they're going to do some stupid thing as a teenager. It's part of life and growing.

But once you become a parent--teenaged or not--you're not the most important thing on the planet anymore. You have to make sacrifices so that tiny little human can survive. That means you don't get to go to late night parties and leave your child unsupervised in a crib. You have to give up some sleep so you can take care of the needs of a little person who can't take care of himself. Figuring out how to feed, clothe, care for, and keep that baby clean become priorities. If you decide to have a baby and keep it, that is a very grown up decision with very grown up consequences. All these dumb kids are so surprised when they figure it out. If they figure it out. And it's SO infuriating to watch!!

I don't know what my deal is these days... everything that seems to give kids a false sense of reality and promotes not only selfishness and bad morals, but blatant disregard for common sense just seems to get under my skin more and more. Who am I kidding, I know exactly what my deal is. His name is Mikey. It all just makes me more determined to teach him right from wrong and hopefully instill a moral code in him that will help him avoid the stupidest decisions (like alcohol, drugs, or premarital sex), and prepare me for the lesser stupid decisions (like jumping from trees, wearing pajamas to school, or giving himself blonde highlights Saturday night, and only telling me and Hayley about it an hour before church on Sunday).

And now to the inspiration for this post. I saw this graphic today. Alls I wanted to do was post it so you could laugh, too, but then this long blog post resulted. Again, brevity is not one of my strong suits. :)

Lazy Sunday

2011-04-10T19:41:00.002-06:00

Wake up in the late afternoon...

I have an urge to blog. But I have no real reason to. No pictures. Nothing specific to say. So here is a seemingly random string of thought for you... or just me. In bullet form.

There were two pictures I contemplated posting. As a sort of "Wordless Wednesday" (but not on Wednesday) post. I didn't post them.
I wonder how you play Cover the Orange.
Golden Eye is fun. But I don't really want to play it.
Weight Watchers works pretty good. I lost over 9 lbs. this week. That'd be more impressive if I wasn't so large right now, but it still pretty great.
I don't like when the weekend is over.
I do like Sunday naps.
I've been listening to one of Katy Perry's albums for a couple days. There's a song with this line: "You're from a whole nuther world." I've thought of two or three alternate sentences that have the same number of syllables, fit the song's rhythm, but are grammatically correct and don't contain fake words like "nuther."
I kind of want chocolate, but I've used up all my points today, so I'm going to have a "treat water" which is a generic Crystal Lite single serve thinger.

That's it. Off to make my treat water.

A couple Mikey vids

2011-04-03T21:14:00.000-06:00

If you don't regularly check out our YouTube channel, what's wrong with you? No, but you're missing out on some grade A awesomeness. Seriously. This is Mikey just after a bath, checking himself out in the mirror, drooling on his newly cleaned baby chest.

And this one is him playing baby piano on iPad.

See the kind of awesome you're missing?

"I'll show YOU who's got whose nose!!"

2011-03-28T15:36:00.001-06:00

What would you title this playlist?

2011-03-19T11:49:00.000-06:00

Hayley made this playlist, and it's really good music. She has a great name for the playlist, but I wanted to see what other folks might call it. So, if you can guess what Hayley named it, or if we like your choice enough to change the name Hayley already gave it, you get a prize. Seriously. If you win, I'll ask for your address and send you a prize. Because I'm all about prizes and giveaways on my blog. Anyway, here are the songs:

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri
Secrets - OneRepublic
Chasing Pavements - Adele
Parachute - Ingrid Michaelson
Fallin' - Alicia Keys
You and Me - Dave Matthews Band
Forget You - Cee Lo Green
Holding Us Back - Katie Herzig
Turn to Stone - Ingrid Michaelson
No One - Alicia Keys
Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
If I Were A Boy - Beyonce
Skinny Love - Bon Iver
What Can I Say - Brandy Carlile
Warning Sign - Coldplay
Put Me Down - The Cranberries
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
The Sound of Settling - Death Cab For Cutie
Shadowboxer - Fiona Apple
Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
Dog Days Are Over - Florence & The Machine
Cosmic Love - Florence & The Machine
Cryinig Shame - Jack Johnson
Star Mile - Joshua Radin
Sky - Joshua Radin
Unlike Me - Kate Havnevik
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Save You - Mathew Perryman Jones
All About Your Heart - Mindy Gledhill
Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches
The Cave - Mumford & Sons
So What - P!nk
Nightswimming - R.E.M.
Australia - The Shins
Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
Confessions Part II - Usher
Gotta Have You - The Weepies

There ya go. What would you name this playlist? And maybe, what would you add to it?

Mmmm, carrots

2011-03-17T09:47:00.001-06:00

Mikey got his first taste of carrots last night. I never thought of carrots having a strong flavor, but when all you ever eat is milk with the occasional super mushed up rice, I guess the flavor might be strong. :) Check out 0:45, 0:55, 1:16, and 1:59 for some really great faces.

Also, if you haven't checked out our youtube channel in a while, you really should. There are some great videos of Mikey there. (click here in case you're looking at this in a reader and can't click the button to the right)

Bullying

2011-03-15T15:18:00.002-06:00

Someone shared this video on facebook...

What do you think?

I'm a horrible person

2011-03-14T14:33:00.003-06:00

First, I participated in a facebook fight about how "boughten" isn't a word, and now this...

Remember a few years ago when I got a text from someone I didn't know? Remember my regret at "[missing] out on a good opportunity to mess with the minds of strangers" and all that? Well lucky me, I got a text from a stranger on my lunch break, and took a little time to mess with him/her. Here's the conversation:

Person I Don't Know: Hi Koriann. what's the name of the new lady at the library ... she's only been working there for a coule months,
Me: Bertha.
PIDK: her name wasn't bertha ... she is in charge of teaching the classes on "how to use the library" ... she came from california
Me: Oooohh... Stacy?
PIDK: nope ... i think she might be over the front desk
Me: Did she order a salad for lunch today?
PIDK: who am i texting?
Me: Not korrian. Sorry. I have no idea who you are. Can you blame me for messing with you?
PIDK: nope ... sorry for wasting your time
Me: No problem. Sorry for wasting yours. :) hope you find that lady's name.

Again, this is a complete transcript of the texts, so yes, she spelled couple as coule, and I spelled Koriann wrong. but moving on.

When PIDK said sorry for wasting my time, I felt a little bad so I wished her luck. But I sure didn't feel bad enough to not do this again when I get another text from an unknown source.

Poop

2011-03-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

This post is seriously and literally (used with its correct meaning) about poop. It's Mikey's poop I'd like to address, so at least there's that. But if you're grossed out, my feelings won't be hurt if you sit this one out. However, to encourage you to continue on, it's not that long and I won't be posting pictures.

About a week ago, Mikey started having rice cereal twice a day. Since then his poop has slowly started to change. Of course, he started with the newborn meconium (tar consistency with no strong smell, if I recall correctly). But he has moved from the yellow, with looks-like-sesame-seeds-but-really-it's-curdled-milk clumps that almost smells like buttery popcorn, into what he's pooping now, which is about the consistency of wet cement and has an unmistakable this-is-poop smell. (All you other parents, tell me I don't have the poop descriptions spot-on?) It's just another sign he's getting bigger. And leaves me none too excited for when he starts trying other foods that ~~may~~ will leave his diaper smelling a tad more pungent.

Happy birthday, Hayley!

2011-03-03T09:06:00.003-07:00

I tend to get long winded. So here are the main things I want to say, in a bulleted list. Because bullets calm me down and make what I have to say a little less wordy.

I hope you have the best birthday you could ever have.
You're my favorite person and you deserve a great birthday!
I love you so much!
I can be exactly myself with you, and you love me back.
We are best friends, and can do anything together.
Even just sit and do nothing.
You're my baby mama!
You brought Mikey to us, and you are the best mother in the world to him.
How much you love him and care for him just builds up how much I love you!
I love our little family!

I love ya, Hayley. Here's to many more birthdays together. :)

Quick tip No. 9

2011-03-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

If you feel like you have something in your teeth, you probably do.

Disappointed in Glee

2011-02-28T11:54:00.008-07:00

This post is going to say a couple of things beyond what I want to get at, so let's address those things first so we can get to the nitty gritty. Yes, I watch Glee. Yes, I enjoy it. Yes, I also like musicals--in fact, being in the pit orchestra for my high school's production of Guys and Dolls was pretty sweet. I realize all these things may make you question my manhood. Go ahead and question it. I'm comfortable enough to admit these things (also that I don't follow any professional sport, don't have a gun, don't see the point in owning a truck when I live in the city [but having friends who have trucks is nice when the occasion calls for it], I like to cook, I like Alanis Morissette and Tori Amos, and--while I'm still able to kill them--spiders freak me out), and I still don't feel the need to figure out sports statistics because you might tease me if I don't know anything about sports (though I'll still say the Chicago Bears are my favorite team, even if I don't even know the name of their quarterback). I'm comfortable in my skin. Also, when I rant, my blog posts are really long. So now let's move on.

Glee the other night was a huge disappointment. The singing was fun and all, but the overall message was that teenage drinking is fine, except when it makes you throw up. The producers and writers of the show thought it was ok to show high school kids drinking at parties (where the kids broke into the parent's liquor cabinet to get plastered), in the halls of school, and while performing at an assembly in school, and have no repercussions whatsoever. Oh, except for hangovers and throwing up.

That's not the biggest disappointment, either. None of the adults could offer any reasons why teenage kids shouldn't drink. The biggest argument the kids could provide was, "You adults drink to take off the edge or have fun, so why can't we?" In the end, the only resolution to this argument was, "Well, I'll stop drinking then, too." While I'm all for abstaining from alcohol at any age, I'm not naïve enough to think that everyone stays stone cold sober all the time, and many people do drink responsibly. So to those who may eventually drink in their lifetime, it might be better to give stronger arguments against underage drinking than I'll-stop-drinking-if-that-makes-you-stop-drinking. Because if you drink alcohol as an adult who has influence over kids, there is a likelihood that there are other adults in the lives of the kids you're trying to influence who also drink. And you can't make EVERYONE in the world stop drinking all at once. Remember Prohibition? The world just isn't ready for that.

So, Glee, while I don't mind that the weekly stories often have holes or don't really make sense, and any viewer with half a brain can see that all you're trying to do is figure out some way to transition from Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" to Britney Spears's "Toxic," at least TRY to do a little research before treating underage alcohol abuse so lightly. There are, in fact, MUCH WORSE outcomes to underage drinking than just headaches and upset stomachs. Here are a few:

In 2006, more than 19% of drivers ages 16 to 20 who died in motor vehicle crashes had been drinking alcohol.*
The younger you are when you start drinking, the greater your chance of becoming addicted to alcohol at some point in your life. More than 4 in 10 people who begin drinking before age 15 eventually become alcoholics.**
Underage drinking is a leading contributor to death from injuries, which are the main cause of death for people under age 21. Each year, approximately 5,000 persons under the age of 21 die from causes related to underage drinking. These deaths include about 1,600 homicides and 300 suicides.***
Long-term risks of alcohol use include liver damage, pancreatitis, certain cancers, and literal shrinkage of the brain.****
Studies with animals and alcohol dependent adolescents show that alcohol has the potential to impact adolescent brain development. Given recent research which shows that the human brain continues to develop throughout adolescence, we need to better understand the short- and longterm effects of alcohol on the developing brain. (Basically, the human brain is still developing even when you're a teenager. Alcohol can screw up how your brain develops and damage it irreparably, especially if you binge drink like the kids on Glee were doing)***
Youth who drink alcohol are more likely to experience school problems, such as higher absence and poor or failing grades; social problems, such as fighting and lack of participation in youth activities; legal problems, such as arrest for driving or physically hurting someone while drunk; physical problems, such as hangovers or illnesses; unwanted, unplanned, and unprotected sexual activity; disruption of normal growth and sexual development; physical and sexual assault; higher risk for suicide and homicide; alcohol-related car crashes and other unintentional injuries, such as burns, falls, and drowning; memory problems; abuse of other drugs; changes in brain development that may have life-long effects; death from alcohol poisoning.*****

What I listed above were just things I know about, but now have sources to back up my knowledge. Check out the references below to find out even more crap that can happen to underage drinkers.

Finding these resources wasn't hard, Glee writers. Come on. Everyone knows that teenage drinking is a big deal. We know your key demographic probably consists of teenagers that want to be cool but may not be very popular, so you don't want to make them change the channel if they feel like they're getting some kind of lecture, but seriously, all you could come up with is to make the Glee coach say he wasn't going to drink either? No mention of liver disease, brain development, alcohol poisoning leading to death, or anything?? It was all a big game to these kids, and there were no consequences. In real life, almost half of these kids would go to binge drinking parties again, become addicts, and ruin their lives.

The Glee kids drank on multiple occasions AT SCHOOL, and no one was even sent to detention. Their teacher knew about a few occasions of the drinking, and not only didn't do anything to stop it, he didn't give them any kind of consequence for BREAKING THE LAW. (As a side note, Hayley and I have steeper consequences for the kids in our Sunday school class who talk too much during a lesson!) At the very least, the kids should have been suspended. In my opinion, they should have been suspended, banned from regionals or sectionals or whatever (I watch mostly just for the singing and the quirky, mean wit of Sue Sylvester, I can't be bothered with details like the name of the competition), and required to attend some kind of underage alcohol education course to be held after school hours. Expulsion wouldn't really be out of the question. But that would make for bad TV, wouldn't it.

Underage alcohol use is a big deal, Glee. There is a lot more at stake than just hangovers and puking in public. Next time, be a little more adult about how you deal with issues that result in the deaths of thousands of Americans each year.

I'm still trying to decide if I should stop watching the show altogether because of that episode...

*http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/810801.PDF
**http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa59.htm
***http://www.nih.gov/about/researchresultsforthepublic/UnderageDrinking.pdf
****http://www.teendrugabuse.us/teensandalcohol.html
*****http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/underage-drinking.htm
(The links to Glee are left out on purpose. You'll find the show if you want to, but I don't need to promote it on my blog right now...)

Stupid ear holes...

2011-02-19T11:00:00.001-07:00

Mikey and I have ear infections. I think I gave him the sick I got. I'm pretty sure I got it from the plane ride back from my last work trip to Austin. The day after I got home, I started getting a sore throat, started losing my voice, and got all congested. The day after I started feeling sick, Mikey started getting congested and coughing, too. Hayley started getting a little congested a couple days after that. Then last night, poor little Mikey cried for four hours. We're new at this, so we didn't take him right to the doctor, but later on came to our senses.

When we got home from my parents' place (we're having a little stay-cation because the cabin we were all going to go to had some frozen pipes and flooding. So sad!), I FINALLY got the little guy calmed down enough to sleep. By then, the pediatrician on call had called us back, and recommended taking him to insta-care. I was really torn because he was finally asleep, but we decided to just take him in. He slept on the way there, slept through most of his exam, and slept in the car while we waited for his prescription (with a little help from his Baby Mine Lullabyes CD and driving laps around the parking lot now and then). When we got home, he woke up, so we gave him his first dose of meddies, and got him back to sleep. He woke up an hour or so after that, and then about two hours after that. It was a rough night--especially because we're used to him sleeping for 10 to 12 hours at night.

This morning was a little better. He cried waking up, but I eventually got him to smile at me! Yesterday, it took a lot to get him to smile, when all I usually need to do is say, "Hi!" or, "Mikey boy!" and he's so excited, his arms start flailing. He's now had two doses of his meddies, and is feeling better. He just woke up from a little nap, so he's having brunch. We're hoping his appetite starts coming back, too. That'd mean lunch is in a couple hours.

My doctor's appointment is later today. Hopefully, we'll all start feeling better soon!

Fun with neti pots

2011-02-17T09:42:00.001-07:00

Before seeing an episode of Cougar Town, I didn't even know what a neti pot was. Bobby was a little skeptic at first, but then finally tried it out. See?

(The "Hero" song playing in the background makes more sense if you watch the full episode...)

Then, a day or so ago, one of my friends on facebook said how glad she was she had a neti pot, or what a life saver it was or something. So I had to ask if it really worked. She said it was great. Didn't take away your cold if you have one, but it lets you breathe for while.

I did a little online research (consisting of googling "neti pot," visiting two sites, and watching one online instructional video) and found out people have been using them for a long time, and they can help clear sinuses when you have allergies, too. So I asked Hayley if she's ever used one, and she looked at me like I was crazy, then composed herself a little more and said, "No, but Heather and her family use one." Now I was more intrigued. So when I went to get milk last night, I checked out the neti pot isle, and decided to try it out.

It definitely feels weird the first time or two, but you can breathe after! With this cold I've had since getting home from my last work trip, I've been trying to keep my voice and be able to breathe. This little pot totally helps. If you were skeptic before (or had never heard of the thing like me), come on over and I'll let you try it out.

And for your viewing pleasure, here is me trying it out for the first time. I was pretty sure it needed to be documented and shared on the interwebs.

Oh, and I made Hayley do it, too. And I recorded it. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T07:44:00.001-07:00

I love you, Hayley! I love that we can spend so much time together, and have fun.

I think we sat in Mikey's room switching out his small clothes for ones that fit for like an hour, and it was time well spent together.

I'm grateful to have you in my life, and watch how great you are with Mikey. I just love you! Mikey loves you, too. He told me so.

Hope you have a wonderful day today!

What does an English degree do for you anyway?

2011-02-10T07:46:00.007-07:00

Hayley is reading a book called House Rules. It's a Jodi Picoult book about a kid with aspergers. She laughed at a couple paragraphs and read them to me, and I thought it was pretty spot on.

I graduated with honors from the University of Vermont with a degree in English. Here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you just in case you’re interested: you can’t practice English in the real world. What skills did I have, honestly? I could outread anyone in a quick draw? I could write a totally smoking analytical essay about the homoerotic overtones of Shakespeare’s sonnets?

Yeah, that and a dollar fifty will get you a cup of coffee.

Luckily, I added the "with emphasis in professional and technical writing" to my English degree. That has made quite a difference in my life. But don't get me started on how incompetent I think my professors were... that's a rant for a different day.

Best Laughing ever!

2011-02-01T15:27:00.002-07:00

Mikey gets so excited in this video, he's screaming! It's pretty awesome. Most of you may have already seen this, but it's one of my favorite videos, so I'm posting it. So there.

I wish that blog was my idea

2011-02-01T13:33:00.001-07:00

You may not want to share the following picture with your children, especially if they can read.

So here is some space to allow you to have them turn their heads while you read this post, especially if they were in the room with you.

Today, I saw this picture and nearly crapped my pants laughing. I can't put a finger on exactly why I think it's so funny, but it really is to me.

If you've never heard of Hyperbole and a Half, you really should check it out. Be forewarned: she's sometimes a potty mouth (as you can guess from this picture). You can read her post about animals here. Just add it to your reader if you haven't already. Hayley's already endorsed it, so just do it. Do it.

Shenanigans

2011-01-26T10:23:00.005-07:00

Ok, I'm going to share some things that will probably make my parents not only roll their eyes, but be slightly disappointed, then be glad I didn't get caught and came out unscathed. My parents probably know the truth about all these stories--because parents aren't as dumb as their kids think--but this still gives me the feeling I'm confessing sins here. I'll try to be brief, but as we all know, brevity is not a strong suit of mine. I like to tell stories with lots of detail.

The Tractor
The house I grew up in had a huge field behind it. Many of my friends' back yards were accessible by crossing the field, or following the ditch that ran behind all the houses. We would play hid 'n seek, guns, fly kites, throw snowballs, and have a general good time out in that field. There was a tractor out there, however, that we were instructed never to go near. I'm not sure what kind of tractor it was, but it wasn't the normal farming kind; it had some big compartment for storing stuff, some belts and pulleys, and I don't even remember where you would sit when you drove it. I think it was more some add on to some larger trator used for sugar beat farming. (Ward siblings, maybe you know?) Anyway, I don't know what the deal was with it, but it just sat out there, not used, getting rusty and taunting the imaginations of the neighborhood children. Thus begin the shenanigans.

Contrary to the advice of our parents (coupled with crippling consequences like having the Nintendo taken away), there were a few of us brave enough to play on the tractor. I remember being told if I did play on the tractor, I could fall, break my neck, be stuck there with no help, die, get tetanus or lockjaw from looking at it too long, etc. We climbed on it, played in it, and even wondered at the blankets we found inside (possibly belonging to homeless people who slept in it at night). I'm not saying we didn't get mildly hurt and scratched, but we'd be damned if we told our parents that's where the scrapes came from.

Golden Eye
This story only requires a couple items for back story. First, yes, I was into video games as a kid/teenager. I was NOT good at the shooter games, but had fun playing them. I was also not a big sluffer (sorry Hayley, I'm keeping this true to life. While I know you hate the term "sluf," that's what we called ditching class.) and mostly went to every class on time.

One day, however, there was some assembly that was going to take up the last three class periods. Someone had brought his N64 to school with the intent to take it to a friends house for a weekend-long Golden Eye-fest. Someone in a group of band geeks suggested it would be more fun to play Golden Eye than go to the stupid assembly, so I immediately offered up my house as a place we could go. We piled into Wyatt Barrett's mini-van, and sluffed the assembly. We were happily shooting each other in the virtual face, when suddenly I hear my dad's car pull in the driveway.

My immediate thought was something like, "We can sneak out the windows when he comes in the back door!" But that would not explain the giant mini-van parked in the driveway, so I had to figure something else out. Everyone else was freaking out a little, because I had told them that both my parents work and wouldn't be home until after school got out. I then went straight upstairs, looked my dad in the neck region (because who can lie to their dad in the eye), and said, "Hi, how was work? ...there was an optional assembly at school, so we decided not to go... but we're going to head back... uh... for band practice, so see ya!" And we piled back into Wyatt's mini-van, and went to his older brother's friends' house to keep playing.

The BioTech Center
At least that's where I THINK this last bit of shenanigans took place. This is one I don't think my parents know about. Unless I've told them the story already.

My senior year of college, I had a roommate name Marcus Aurelius. ("You knew Marcus Aurelius?" Name that movie.) Ok, not really, but that's what I called him, and subsequently, so did the rest of our roommates. Mark was having a little identity crisis. I tried to be a good friend, but I was nearing the end of that not-true-to-real-life-in-any-way period of time known as college, and trying to figure out where I was supposed to fit in society and life in general. In trying to get through this period of time, I wasn't always the beacon of reason myself, and fell into some of Marcus Aurelius's plots. One of which was to see what buildings on campus are slightly accessible in the middle of the night.

We totally broke into the BoiTech Center. Again, I'm not sure that was the building, but we jumped over this fence, onto some mechanical devices covered by sheet metal, climbed down the devices, and into an unlocked maintenance door. Once inside, we found that various rooms were unlocked because the rest of the building was secure. It was then I realized that were I ever to be homeless, I would move to Logan, because not only could I sleep on a soft couch at night, the HYPR building was available during the day for showers, with no supervision or regulation on who accesses the facilities. That night, we also got into the English building (not very hard. The doors were wide open.) which then granted access to the Family Life building.

All we did was walk around and see who had offices that were unlocked. But the whole time, the voice of reason inside me was saying, "This is ridiculous. Probably the stupidest thing you've ever done. Even if you're not doing anything, if you get caught, you have ONE semester left to graduate, and you could get kicked out of this school. Do you REALLY want to suffer through more college classes?" It was really dumb. And just one of those things stupid college kids do when they're bored in the middle of the night and don't want to actually go to sleep.

Well, that's all for me. Care to share any of your shenanigans?

Spitty McSpitterton

2011-01-24T13:40:00.001-07:00

Mikey is learning how to give raspberries. He's cute. That second video has more spitting. There's spit running all down his face.

Word association

2011-01-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

Caron beat me to this one, but oh well. This'll be fun. She gave a link to a random word generator, so I clicked on it and I'm going to give the first memories that come to mind when I think of these words.

1. Cream
I've made these super great nachos a couple of nights for dinner. I put sour cream on top while they're still warm out of the oven, and the sour cream sorta melts all over the place. Tasty tasty. The nachos consist of chips, cheese, totinos jalapeno cheese dip, salsa, homemade spicy salsa, black beans, and fajita-seasoned chicken.

2. Concierge
I've never really had any experience with a concierge, but I remember that episode of the office when Micheal Scott goes on a business trip, and thinks the Concierge is some kind of Geisha/hooker. Very awkward and very funny.

3. Moustache
I don't really like growing facial hair. I've never tried to grow a moustache, but I've tried to grow a beard, and I hate it. I think most moustaches look awful.

4. Whiteboard
At my last job, I had a large white board, and so did the other Proposal Writer. The other guy NEVER used his white board, and so I would mess with him, and when he wasn't at his desk, I'd leave pictures or to do lists. Like, "Milk, eggs, punch Andy in the face, 7 lbs of hamburger, wash car, fight crime, do dishes." Some of those are funnier because he was also vegan. I posted a couple times on whiteboard shenanigans, too.

To finally clear things up

2011-01-22T08:22:00.002-07:00

Related to #6 on my last post

2011-01-20T14:50:00.001-07:00

Just found this. It's awesome.

Strong opinions

2011-01-18T18:32:00.009-07:00

I don't really have many super strong opinions... do I? First order of business: all y'all that read this blog, comment on and point out my strong opinions in the comments. Second order of business: I'll try to think harder. Third order of business: once you've read my opinions, share yours in the comments.

Opinion #1 - Orange is the best color. For EVERYTHING.
Opinion #2 - You shouldn't swear in a church, synagogue, or any place of worship. Show some dang respect. And if you do, even if it's at a basketball game for a ward that isn't even in my stake, I'll tell you to not swear in church.
Opinion #3 - Chubby people and spandex don't mix.
Opinion #4 - You should always have your wrist strap on when playing Wii.
Opinion #5 - My wife is the best and my son is the cutest.
Opinion #6 - (late entry of my own, and so denoted in orangey-brown) I'm really bugged by people who post all sorts of crap/links on facebook complaining about the government, conspiracies, how awful education is, the evils of consumerism, the evils of capitalism, the evils of socialism, etc. and don't do anything but bitch about it on facebook. You look like an asshat if alls you're gonna do is whine about it and share obscure news articles. Are you doing anything about your zillion causes? Are you avidly writing your congressmen? Hosting rallies? If not, what is the point of all the doomsday sharing on facebook? (sorry for all the cussing on this one, but i'm not in a church, or other place of worship, so I excuse myself.)
Opinion #7 - (stolen from Caron, who also blogged her list of opinions) Before giving a chruch talk, I HATE when people say they didn't prepare, or didn't have time to prepare, or were called saturday night... sure you were busy or weren't given advance notice, but if you don't tell me that, I would never know and the spirit of doubt wouldn't have entered me, and I wouldn't hate your talk... just sayin'.
Opinion #8 - You don't need to wear your sunglasses inside. You aren't a rockstar.

That's really all I got... If I deem your comment to be a true strong opinion of mine, I'll add it to my list. :) Additions will be denoted in text of different colors.

Today was a great day

2011-01-17T22:00:00.005-07:00

Lots happened today. First, happy anniversary to Hayley!! Two years has flown by. It has been the best two years of my life, and while I'm inclined to say it couldn't get better, I really know it will. We will continue to love each other, watch Mikey grow, watch our family grow, and wonder where the time went. All the while, I get to spend every day with my best friend in the whole world, and enjoy every moment. Thanks, Hayley, for being the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't want to detract from how much I love Hayley and how happy this two years has been, so the rest will be a bulleted list. And one picture I really want to share.

We went to get "jammie pictures" with Mikey's cousins.
We went to Chili's for a little anniversary lunch.
We went to a movie. In the movie theater!
We came home and relaxed. Hayley got a little back rub, Mikey slept lots, and we just hung out.
It was reaffirmed to me that while Mikey is my little "mini-me," he has some of his momma's tendencies.

Regarding that last bullet, Hayley sometimes sleeps with her eyes open. IT FREAKS ME OUT. It makes me do the silent scream. You know, where something is creepy, so you have to react accordingly, but you oddly don't want the creepiness to end, so you don't want to startle it away. Well, Mikey sometimes does the same thing. And I do the silent scream when he does it, too. Mostly because he's actually asleep and I don't want to wake him up (or face Hayley's wrath were I to wake him), so the appropriate response is silent screams.

Lately, zombies have been something we've talked about a lot for various reason. (this is a related statement, I swear. Just wait for it.) Today, Mikey did the scary eyes-open-while-sleeping trick, and I did the silent scream. I also told Hayley, "If anyone in this family has a natural immunity to the zombie virus, it's me, because you two don't have a hope! You've already got crazy zombie eyes!" Check out Mikey's picture of the day:

He's asleep. Out cold. The open eyes looking at me while I hold him are a little creepy. Am I the only one that thinks so? Other than that, he's a-freakin'-dorable... and actually, because it's like his momma, I still think it's adorable.

But back to today. Happy anniversary, Hayley. I love you, and I love our little life.

He sleeps in the crib!

2011-01-15T08:28:00.001-07:00

There's a post about non-Mikey, so here's a post about Mikey.

Last night began the weekend of try-to-see-if-Mikey-can-handle-the-crib. Some of you know, he used to sleep exclusively in this:

But last night, we put him in his crib, so he'll be sleeping like this:

He did great, and I only went in once in the night to comfort him. He woke up a couple times more than normal, but we let him cry it out (which really meant he had a small little pouty sound, not a real cry) until he went back to sleep. Then we all got up around 7:20 a.m. Pretty sweet! I hope tonight goes just as well!

Pet peeves

2011-01-15T08:19:00.001-07:00

First, a disclaimer: I don't really get peeved and angry about things, even some things I would consider my pet peeves. If you do something or are associated with any of these things, it won't affect our friendship. So here goes.

Number one: bad and inconsiderate drivers. I consider myself a pretty good driver. I'm sure I've bugged a couple people now and then, so this is probably a huge hypocrisy on my part, but I hate when people don't know how to drive. Driving slow in the fast lane, tailgating when I'm going five over the speed limit, not knowing who has the right of way, etc. This is probably the one that gets me the most riled up. It makes me call strangers names. Which I'm going to have to stop doing if I want Mikey to be a nice little kid.

Number two: incorrect usage of words and bad grammar in general. This one deserves a qualifier of its own. I don't get all up in arms over this. This is more something that I notice easily rather than a pet peeve. My own dear wife even says "supos-EB-ly," rather than the correct pronunciation of "supos-ED-ly," (on purpose, she'd like me to clarify) but I don't really care. Other people to whom I am close (I can't very well use dangling participles in a post about grammar, can I) say "OM-pen" rather than "O-pen," and so on. I notice when that happens, but it doesn't bug me. If I got all upset every time someone said "Feb-YOU-ary" rather than "Feb-RU-ary," I could make myself pretty miserable. I also like the American rule when it comes to periods and quotations (as opposed to my friend, Bonny), hate the non-word "irregardless," and don't understand how some people can speak so I understand, but write in a completely non-coherent way. But again, it's not a huge bother to me. I say "mou-en" instead of "moun-tain" most the time, I'm not a great speller (thank goodness for spell check), and I've been known to say "anyways." I also have greater leniency for misspellings and non-use of capital letters in chat windows, facebook, and the Internet in general. But there it is.

Number three: I have a little bit of OCD. I don't systematically lick our kitchen cabinets or anything, but I like things the way they're supposed to be. For example, in our bathroom, Hayley and I have brown towels with two decorative stripes of different texture at the ends. We also have these more-tan-than-brown towels that have one thick stripe of different texture at the end. It bugs me a little when we don't have the same towels. Which is right now. I've got the thick stripe, she has the two stripes. I'll be fine and we'll both use our towels, but if I'm the one that puts towels away, I'll try to make sure they are put in the linen closet in sets so it doesn't happen again soon. Hayley notices other things, but I can't think of them right now. Again, this is not a huge problem. I don't often put my clothes right in the hamper, I only do quick spot cleanings of the kitchen after I cook, and my work desk is a little more than cluttered right now. It's just certain things.

That's all I can think of right now. But another tendency I have is to go into way too much detail, so maybe three is all I need to share. I'm pretty sure I'm going to write about all the suggestions from my "Taking suggestions" blog post, so if you have more, feel free to post them there.

You asked for it

2011-01-07T07:43:00.002-07:00

Ok, most of you read Hayley's blog, too, but I think there are some that don't. Based on the comments on my last post (feel free to continue to make requests. I'll be working on them), no one seems to mind Mikey, so here's my latest favorite video of him. Hayley already posted it, but it's so cute! I was recording, trying not to catch his attention because if I did, he'd likely stop laughing. There were probably 3 times I almost stopped recording, but then he'd make some happy noise, and I'd just let it keep going. So here's Mikey laughing with his mamma.

There are a bunch of other videos, too. I'm going to add a link to the side of my blog to the YouTube channel where we're posting all his videos, in case all y'all want to check out the other cute videos of mikey. And a few from a couple Christmases ago. And a couple concerts we went to. But it's mostly Mikey.

Taking requests

2011-01-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

Does anyone read my blog anymore? I mean, I still probably have the same amount of readers because it takes less effort to leave a blog in your google reader than it does to go remove it, so I have that going for me. Anyway...

I don't blog much anymore. Not that I did a whole lot, just a few times a month, it's just now all I want to do is post videos of Mikey, or talk about how cute he is, or post pictures of him... And I mean, while I can't get enough of him, I know people get sick of that.

So what do you all want me to write about? Give me a topic. Any topic. Anything you all ask me to write about in the comments of this post, I'll write about. I'll do it, I swear. It'll give me a bunch of subject to write about. Ask a question, give me a topic, I'll write about it. So what do you say? What should my next post be about? Feel free to give multiple topics.

Conozco Erik Estrada

2010-12-26T09:25:00.003-07:00

Some of you may remember this pos t from a while back. Well, this morning, one of my friends posted some of the lyrics to the "One Semester of Spanish, Spanish Love Song" so I had to go watch the video again, and of course, it was still pretty dang funny. Then I read the comments on the video, and it turns out there is a song for the second semester. And while this isn't super holiday oriented (although there is a line "Feliz Navidad con Erik Estrada"), it's still pretty funny. I know lots of folks liked the first, so here's the second!

And Kudos to Erik Estrada for being a part of this. :)

Mikey laughs

2010-12-22T12:30:00.001-07:00

While we were at the Verizon store waiting for Hayley's phone to get fixed, I stared laughing at Mikey, and he laughed back! Hayley came over to watch, and was smart enough to ask for my phone so she could take some video. The video quality isn't great, and you'll need to make sure you're speakers are up, but here are a couple videos of Mikey laughing. Hope you enjoy as much as I did!

CityDeals is kinda nice

2010-11-29T11:16:00.003-07:00

If you're thinking about getting gift cards for people for Christmas, you should try CityDeals. We just got an awesome one for Simply Sushi--we paid $11 for a $25 gift card. Seriously, you should check it out. (And if you click the links in this post, I'll get some kind of referral rewards. That'd be a nice Christmas present from you to me. Just sayin'.)

--UPDATE--Dear family: there is a CityDeal for Rodizio. You can buy a $25 gift card for $20. I know it's not super great, but hey, buy two and save ten bucks on our brother-sister Christmas dinner. Just click on one of the links above (or this link), and type "Rodizio" in the field where it says "All Categories."

Surviving the zombie apocalypse

2010-11-23T19:12:00.002-07:00

So the blizzard coming has got everyone all riled up. Not unnecessarily so, but there is definitely a lot of talk about it--ok, mostly lots on the news and on facebook, but what else is there?

The blizzard had Hayley worried, and again, rightly so. At one point today, she even said to me something like, "I'm getting ready for the blizzard to come, and to live like I Am Legend is real!" Which made me laugh and say something snarky like, "Yes, we should definitely prepare for the zombie apocalypse!" Which lead to various facebook statuses and comments, and now this blog post (Hayley is also doing a post, but I'm not going to read it until I've written mine, just to keep our opinions unaffected.)

So I give you, How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse (with comments on what my zombie survival rules really mean)

Make sure you have plenty of food (With Thanksgiving coming, Mikey is still not able to travel very far in a car without screaming his guts out, so we're not going to be able to travel to Richfield with my family. Instead, we're going to crash the Williams's Thanksgiving and have it with Hayley's sister's family. And we're bringing a couple food items, so Hayley had to get them before the storm came in.)
Prepare for power outages (Hayley did so by doing 4 loads of laundry, doing the dishes, and vacuuming the floors. Because if we don't have power, we'll still need clothes, dishes, and clean floors.)
Make sure your car has gas -- you may need to make a quick escape, and full tank will ensure you get where you're going (In case we lost power and heat, and needed to get somewhere where there is heat [family or friends around], we needed a full tank. Hayley went to get it before the storm came in, to be safe. Oh, as an added bonus, she mentioned if we lost power, we could put our frozen goods outside to keep them frozen. She thinks of everything!)
Board up your windows! You don't want the zombies getting in (We actually got some of those plastic, shrink-wrap window insulators for Mikey's room, because it is the coldest in the house. The windows are drafty, and we now don't have to worry that he catches his death in his own room at night.)
Make sure you have a year supply of candles and batteries (Hayley got a little worried that if we lost power, we didn't have any candles because we have Scentsy. I reminded her that I still had a zillion votives from when I proposed. We have a couple flashlights and plenty of batteries. After we had been talking about zombies for a while, she told me she picked up a year supply.)
In case of power outages, make sure you have a method for cooking food (After letting me know we could put our frozen goods out on the lawn, Hayley said we could bring the grill inside and cook with that if need be. And she even picked out a place in the kitchen where we'd put it, because on the carpet just would not do.)
Check in on your friends (Hayely kept calling and checking on a few friends that are travelling today and tomorrow. She kept saying to one in particular, "Why am I so worried about you! Just be safe, ok?"

And that should do ya. Well, if it's the ACTUAL zombie apocalypse, you'll need a shotgun and plenty of shells, too. But these seven rules should keep you safe.

Love you, Hayley. :)

Have you read more than 6 of these books?

2010-11-23T08:55:00.002-07:00

I totally stole this from someone on facbook. I don't know if the BBC actually put this list together, but I was very intrigued. I also know that many of my friends are book readers, so I wanted to know if my theory that most of you have read more than 6 of these books is true. So please do this yourself, because I mostly posted it because I'm curious about you, dear reader. Let's call it a competition. Whoever has the most books read gets a prize! Maybe this is my first prize give-away... hmmm...

Anyway, if you do repost on a blog or facebook or something, leave a comment and let me know. If you don't, just take count of how many books you've read and leave a comment. Seriously. I'm interested.

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

Instructions: Copy this list. Bold those books you've read in their entirety; italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or just read an excerpt. Tag other book nerds. Tag me as well so I can see your responses!

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 The Divine Comedy
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Posession -- AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

My final count: 22 read, 9 started but not finished. How did you do?

Not looking forward to my business trip next week

2010-11-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

Mikey says hi

2010-11-19T15:37:00.002-07:00

Shots

2010-11-14T11:19:00.001-07:00

Poor Mikey. He got shots on the day he turned two months old.

Even though it was the saddest thing in the world, I wanted to get a picture of his giant tear. Poor guy.

Luckily, he only showed signs of discomfort the day of the shots, and he slept pretty good that night. The next day, he had two little red spots (even though there were three shots), but no apparent tenderness or fussiness. Such a tough guy!

Herbs and friendship

2010-11-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this morning, Hayley and I were going to go to Red Rooster Waffle Company, because we had a gift card. We got there an hour after the place was supposed to be open, but there were no signs of life inside; all the chairs were on the tables, no lights, and the doors were locked. Crap-a-la-crap-fest... And since we were out for breakfast already, we decided to go to IHOP...

While we were at IHOP, we had the wonderful experience of sitting next to two older, single women. I didn't WANT to eve's drop, but suddenly I hear the older woman say something about a group she gets together, and how sometimes they just talk about herbs, sometimes about friendship, and how it's casual and fun. Of course, I wanted to blog about it, so I wrote down the title of this post on a sugar packet so I wouldn't forget. Hayley asked what I wrote, and before showing it to her, I warned her with a very intense look not to say it out loud. We both kind of smiled at each other and suddenly, we were given a special peak into the lives of these two women.

The not-older-one started talking about a book she was reading, and how it made her think of the older woman's group, and so she started reading a passage. I wasn't snoopy enough to find out the name of the book, but the passage had something to do with how the women of her time were brainwashed by Disney tales like Snow White, because if the mirror had just told the wicked step mother something like, "Who cares who the fairest is, you're great, you're confident and strong, you're great at sorcery, so why bother with comparing yourself to other women!?" then Snow White would have grown up with a strong mother figure, not had to rely on her looks alone, and little girls everywhere would be more confident.

While I agree with women being strong, self-reliant, and having strong female authority figures, this conversation went into how great "The Secret" is (a huge load of crap, in my opinion), how powerful herbs are, the wonders of the feminine mystique, and the value of wearing crystals. (Ok, the crystals wasn't true, but I would not have been shocked to hear it.) All this seemed very funny, and something I would associate with the IHOP crew. Then I looked around.

There was a table of construction workers, one with denim shorts he had rolled up, another table where a woman with a femullet and her husband were ordering vegetarian omelets with holandaise sauce on the side, a large family of hispanic folks, and there we were, un-showered, me with my pretend beard, and our little guy in pajamas. My thought was, "These are my people." We're all a little scruffy, weird, and tired, but we want someone else to make our breakfast today, dangit. It was a funny little setting.

Oh, and don't worry, we kept eve's dropping so bad that Hayley and I had to force ourselves to talk to each other. Great breakfast.

...yeah, that was short-lived

2010-11-13T16:15:00.001-07:00

I shaved off the beard today. I just couldn't get past the super itchy, irritated stage. I've tried it before with the same results. I should just remember how much it hurts. And you can tell that a battle was waged between my razor and my stubble, leaving the terrain of my neck meat looking like a scarred, old battle ground. But I do feel better now that it's gone. I'm sure I'll give it another go in three or five years... I'm kinda smart like that.

Bullets

2010-11-12T21:09:00.001-07:00

I haven't posted in a while, so here is a bulleted list of things crossing my mind lately.

Mikey was 8 weeks old on November 6th, 60 days old on November 9th, and 2 months old on November 11th. Aren't 8 weeks, 60 days, and 2 months all supposed to be the same thing?
Mikey keeps changing. Every now and then, I'll really notice it. I'm excited to find out how much he's grown after his 2 month check-up today.
I really love Hayley.
We haven't been to a movie in so long, I don't even remember what the last one was. It was before Mikey was born, but probably weeks or months before that, even. That's a long time for movie lovers not to see a movie. Thank goodness for NetFlix! (I'm fairly certain we'll be in the theater for the new Harry Potter movie, however.)
We finally got all of our leftovers eaten. We had lots of soup, salad, sandwiches, cake, jambalaya, and more for a while. I get a little sad when we waste good food. After last night, we now have a pan of enchiladas as leftovers. I'm excited for those.
Thanks to my friend, Jason, I'm going to try to be thankful. But you don't get to know what I'm thankful for until Thanksgiving day. The rules were to keep track of one thing I am thankful for starting on October 31 all the way to Thanksgiving day. I may not write something every day, but I'll have enough items for each day.
I might be growing a beard. I've never done that. Partly because it itches my face off, and partly because I have not been able to do so. I still have tiny little spots where the mustache doesn't really meet up with my chin scruff, but I might see how this goes. For a little while, anyway.
I often want to blog, but don't.
I'm watching Avatar tonight (right now, actually) with Hayley.

Grunty McGrunterson

2010-10-19T21:11:00.004-06:00

That is Mikey's nick-name of choice around here. When he's not Mikey or Little Dude. Other choice nick-names include:

Pouty McPouterson
Poopy McPooperson
Tooty McTooterson
Farty McFarterson (the more crude version of T. McT.)
Funky McFunkerson (well, mostly that just happened one time, while we were talking about his nick-names.)
Monkey McButterson (Thanks, Holly. Based off this post by Hayley.)
Lovey
Emo Burrito

But mostly Grunty McGrunterson. Because he really works on it when he needs to get his diaper filled.

Whachawdano

2010-10-16T12:34:00.002-06:00

This is pretty great.

Apparently there are more videos from these guys. Some about texting and driving, free WiFi spots, and even Linux. But go check those yourself. I only have so many labels for my posts.

Emo Burrito

2010-09-30T19:37:00.001-06:00

Ok, so this post is going to need some background... And I would like to know everyone's opinion on something here. Please leave comments.

First, Hayley and I got Rock Band for our wedding. When playing rock band, you have to pick a band name. It gives some auto-generated band names, and the first one to come up was Emo Burrito. We liked it. We would say we needed to have band practice. We would talk about Emo Burrito like it was actually our band.

Flash forward to now, when we have a little baby boy. He was born in September, and we're trying to think of a costume for him. He has a little shirt that says, "Boo!" on it, and we thought maybe we'd just put him in that. We could make it a family thing, and get (or possibly make) other T-shirts that say, "Rawr!" or "Eeek!" or something. He also has a cute little Halloween sleeper that could work. Not real costumes, but hey, he's a baby. he won't really remember Halloween and just a shirt or sleeper would be easy.

But then one day, I was swaddling him up because, you know, he's so tiny! And everyone knows newborns like to be swaddled. They look like little, wrapped up burritos. Because of our Rock Band band, I often call him our little emo burrito when he's all swaddled. Then it hit me--that could be his costume! We could get a blanket with some emo band like The All American Rejects, or Coheed and Cambria or something, and find a tiny wig to style all emo-like for him! If the blanket doesn't work out, maybe some weird, onesie from Hot Topic, and just a black blanket. And maybe even put ace bandages on his wrists with a little red stain on them. Black eye liner is out, sure, but he could be a little Emo Burrito mascot!

Is that even funny? Am I the only one that thinks so? Would anyone even get it? Would we look like horrible people if we dressed up our seven-week-old baby in an Emo outfit, complete with ace bandages alluding to him having cut himself? Should we just stick with traditional? Or maybe even his "Boo!" shirt?

Please share your thoughts. And don't hold back. Tell me I'm a moron if dressing my baby as an emo kid isn't funny.

What the snarf?

2010-09-27T16:44:00.001-06:00

This is an actual conversation Hayley and I had, while wrapping Mikey up and getting ready to go on a walk:

Garrett: Should I wrap him up real good, or just put the blanket around him?
Hayley: Just put the blanket around him... [Garrett proceeds to wrap the baby up] don't snarf him.
G: Uh... ok.
H:... You know what I mean... what word am I thinking?
G: I have no idea what you're even talking about. [both start laughing] He's snarffed up real good, though.
H: [can barely keep her pee in, she's laughing so hard]
G: [to Mikey] You're mom's gone snarffin' mad!
H: [now trying to hold the pee in, by bracing herself on the counter and squatting a little]

Cutest video ever

2010-09-25T17:50:00.001-06:00

Hayley already posted this, but I assume I have a couple readers that don't also read her blog, and this HAD to be shared. More baby Mikey. Enjoy.

Some baby stuff

2010-09-22T18:16:00.003-06:00

Hayley has done a great job of posting pictures and things. And she started a blog to keep up on Mikey's project life thinger (I added a link there to the right if you're interested). While I don't have photos to add, here are a few baby things going on for me.

Mikey's little cry is cute to me. His screamer cry is sad.
We weren't prepared for him to not be a giant. We have billions of clothes for him, once he gains a few pounds, but for now, we're doing laundry all the time.
I'm pretty good at changing a diaper, I think...
I'm even better at swaddling.
When Mikey is really upset, if you lift him strait up high a couple times, he seems to like that and calms down.
I am having all sorts of paternal instincts. Sometimes, I dream I'm holding him, and when I wake up cradling my pillows under my face, I get a nervous jolt that I'm using him as a pillow.
I have also had some pretty crazy and graphic dreams where he was seriously hurt. In on of those dreams, I beat a man bloody and I think I killed him... I'm not a violent person usually, but this guy seriously hurt my baby boy and even in my dream I couldn't stop myself.
I like to hold him when he sleeps. I should probably let him sleep in his bed--and I usually do--but it's fun to hold him.
I like to watch Hayley hold him. It's nice just looking at the two of them.
I like looking into his little eyes. He lifts his head up and looks around A LOT. I wonder what in the world he could be thinking. "do you dream about Jesus or quantum mechanics or angels who sing lullabies?"
Hayley is the best. I am getting pretty good sleep. But I do try to help out when I know she just needs an hour or two to stay sane.
We're pretty happy around here.

There ya go. Maybe the next one I'll post pictures. But for now, try Hayley's blog and Project Mikey.

Quck baby update

2010-09-13T10:08:00.001-06:00

This is the email I sent to my manager this morning. I have been trying to figure out when I would have time to blog, but sleep and baby visits are taking precident over most other activities. While writing this email, though, I thought it would be a perfect little update to the folks that read my blog. So here goes (with a few additions and changes for the blogging community):

After trying to write a brief summary, I realized you might be too busy to read the whole thing. Brevity seems to be a thing I lack when writing about my baby boy, or when writing at 3:00 a.m. on very little sleep. In case you do want to read the whole thing, both the short version and long version of the last few days’ events are included.

The short version:

Mom is good and recovering from c-section
Baby is ok, in ICU, weaning off an IV and antibiotics before we can take him home
He had a scary ambulance ride to a children’s hospital to take a dye test, which ruled out any bad problems (thank goodness!!)
I’m quite tired, and not going to do much by way of work today or tomorrow

The long version:

Baby Michael is here, but there have been a few little scares. When he was first born, he went to the NICU because he had a little cough that indicated he was working harder than normal to get his lungs open. Almost as soon as they hooked up the monitors, he didn’t have the cough anymore, so only had to stay there about an hour. Later, however, he spit up some green, mucus-y stuff, which worried the doctors, and they wanted to do a dye test to check his GI track. The hospital we are at didn’t have anyone who could perform this test on him here (those that could had clocked out for the weekend), so he had to be transferred to Primary Children’s Hospital. I followed the ambulance there, and my poor wife stayed behind because she was still recovering from the C-section.

Luckily, the worst problems were ruled out (of course I can’t remember the names of anything… but it had to do with twisted intestines and so forth... started with a V... volvulous or something similar), and it looks like he has some reflux, and his stomach takes a long time to pass its contents on to the intestine. They transferred him back to our hospital and now have the little guy on an IV (which is now attached to a vein on his head—more scary looking than bad. The nurses were quick to tell us it was a normal place for an IV because babies tend to grab, wiggle, and pull out IVs in hands and legs), and we are trying to wean him off of it so his mom can just feed him. Also unfortunately, he is going to be on a series of antibiotics, so he’ll be here probably a day longer than mom. (UPDATE: The doc said this morning that because Hayley had a C section and the baby is in the ICU, there is no rush to get her out of here and will probably have her stay until Wednesday. We may get to take him home with us after all!)

So instead of having him come to the room every three hours to try to feed, we head down to the NICU, mom feeds him, he takes a little formula, and if he does a good job, they lower the IV dosage and we get closer to taking the little rascal home! Otherwise, his vitals are excellent and if the green puke never happened, he might still be upstairs with us rather than in the NICU, but we’re glad the reflux was caught and the larger intestinal problems were ruled out.

Just wanted to give you a heads up on things. I’m just getting back from his 2:00 a.m. feeding and thought I’d better drop a line. I’ll probably not do much work-related activity today. We’ll keep working on getting this kid off the IV and back upstairs in mom’s room.

Thanks for your understanding! And I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense entirely… Those first few days only allowed for about 4 hours of total sleep…

And finally, while it is probably cheesy to send pictures of my baby to my manager, he’s so stinkin’ adorable it’s hard not to share at least the one where he’s sticking his tongue out! He’s about 30 minutes old in that picture. :)

You know you're an English major when...

2010-09-03T12:30:00.004-06:00

This web commic cracks you up:

I guess it also helps that I really liked crashing cars in Grand Theft Auto 3 in college. My roommate had an Xbox.
(poll for comment posters: should I add a new "you know you're an English major when..." category to my blog? Sorta like I've got my quick tips? These would be much less frequent than the quick tips, but could be fun. I'll leave it up to you, my reader-folk, to decide.)

Doesn't everyone know like 30 realtors?

2010-08-23T17:19:00.000-06:00

Just very quickly, I can think of three. And that's with my pregnancy brain. But seriously, doesn't everyone know at least one Realtor? I can't imagine that cold calling actually works in the world of real estate...

Well, apparently our phone number has finally gotten on some list that Realtors can buy for cold calling. And I'm COMPLETELY sick of it. Because they're suddenly calling a zillion times a day. No, really, there have been 12 calls from Realtors in one day, from 7 to 5. Half of them ask for Mr. Jones, another half ask if Hayley Jones lives here (I always say no), and the other half (...add that up...) are confused when I answer, "This is Garrett." because this number is my home office line. And I'm annoyed, because it IS my home office line, and I don't need the constant interruptions, especially when I'm about to make my third conference call of the day!

I put our number on the DNC registry now, so don't worry. But in the interim, it's going to be annoying, getting all these calls. Anyone got any funny ways I can answer when a Realtor calls me? I'm all for messing with cold callers.

Quick tip No. 8

2010-08-22T13:18:00.000-06:00

If you happen to see these at a Japanese restaurant:

realize they are NOT salt and pepper, but--in fact--soy sauce containers. And you probably shouldn't double check by pouring the contents out into your wife's hand. Just before the waiter arrives to ask if you're ready to order.

right round, right round, right round....... right round.

2010-08-19T11:40:00.002-06:00

I have a habit of making posts last too long, so I'm going to try to keep this short...

While Hayley was putting lotion on her belly this morning, she made very wide and roundy motions, and said, "I wonder if this makes the baby dizzy." I chuckled, but then she starts singing the chorus of the song, "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" but with her own little twist. No other words but right round. So according to Hayley, the chorus goes, "You spin me right round, right round, right round, right round... right round.... right round...."

When I started laughing, she thought it was for the late couple of "right rounds" she did, so she says, "What? I didn't know how many 'right rounds' there were!" To which, I laughed even more, and when I could talk, I said, "Right. and no 'baby' or 'like a record' at all either, huh?" To which she responded with more laughter.

She's funny. And even funnier with the pregnancy forgetfulness. It really makes me smile a lot.

And for your viewing pleasure, here is the actual music video! Which is quite awful as far as music videos go, but I had to play the song for her after we stopped laughing about the "right round, right round, right round..." and so forth. And yes, I changed the words when I sang to Hayley's new and improved chorus. Enjoy!

All the internet has to offer

2010-07-23T16:46:00.002-06:00

I've done something like this once before. but with the lovely world of RSS feeds, I can make wasting time on the internet even easier for myself! The below mentioned are websites that I check out via google reader. You don't have to do the same, but I think they're fun. All of them may or may not have naughty language, so if you have kids in the room, review the sites before sharing.

Fail Blog - some of these aren't so funny, but it's fun to have something in your reader. Lots of crazy people out there, I tell you what.
PostSecret - updated every Sunday morning. You should really check it out.
Found Cameras and Orphan Pictures - Not updated often, but if someone loses a camera, memory card, or photos, they can send a couple pictures to this blog, and maybe even reunite them with their owner.
Passive-Aggressive (and Just Plain Offensive) Notes - featuring all sorts of roommate squabbles, lived out through post-its on the fridge. And other things.
Stuff White People Like - this one hasn't been updated in quite some time. But it's funny little quips about the most stereotypical white culture.
Boy On A Stick And Slither - Awesome web comic. One of my favorites. Hasn't been updated since March. There used to be one like every couple days. Makes me sad.
Best of Craigslist - a recent find. Sorta funny. Not updated frequently. I might stop reading this one.
Lamebook - makes all sorts of fun of facebook. Updated frequently. Like multiple times every day.
Toothpaste For Dinner - Web comic. Poorly drawn (on purpose), satirical, with the option to buy T-shirts. Updated daily (or at least week daily...).
There, I Fixed It - redneck repairs. Including turning one of those super old exercise bikes into an elliptical machine made of 2x4s. Awesome.
Words to Shoot By - not so much funny as interesting. Photographers are given a word, and they take three photos based on the word. My friend, Robin, participates and is why I subscribe. One day, I hope to actually take decent photos. Not photographer quality, mind you, but just decent. Not back-lit or blurry.
Awkward Family Photos - ...doesn't really need an explanation.
xkcd.com - a web comic that uses stick figures. It's awesome "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language" is the subtitle. One of the best parts of this web comic is the alt tag text. Leave your mouse on the image, and read the text that comes up. It really adds to the humor of the comic.

So there ya go. That's what I'm doing when I'm not reading all ya'll's blogs. What do you read on the interwebs a'la RSS feed?

Quick tip No. 7

2010-07-20T12:01:00.001-06:00

If you are in customer service in India, China, or some place NOT in the United States, don't pretend your name is "John" or "Sally" when it's really Habib, or Anaoulaivika.

Seriously. I was chatting with the Comcast service rep online today, and this is a copy & paste of what she said to me: "Garrett, do you have other phone that maybe replace to the phone that is not having such no dialtone?"

Right. And you expect me to belive your name is Regina?

Baby's first hic-ups!

2010-07-19T18:30:00.002-06:00

So today, Hayley stopped me dead in my tracks and said, "I think the baby has hic-ups..." I stopped and watched her belly, and sure enough, you could even SEE the little rhythmic bumps he was making! It made me just want to squeeze him!

In addition to that, I wanted to share some videos. If you don't watch all of them, I won't feel bad. It may not be as cool to you as it is to me. But these videos are from the ultrasound when we found out that Mikey was a boy. Way back in ~~February~~ April, yes, but oh well. They're also not the greatest videos, but you can still see what's going on.

This first one shows his little profile. In the real video, you can see better that the little roundish spot above his head is his little fist.

This one shows his face, heart rate, and some measurements of his head.

This one shows his boy bits. It's at about 30 seconds that they make their debut... seems kinda weird that I'm telling you where to go to see that, but there it is... The video also shows some measurements of his legs and stuff, including another profile shot with ribs and spine.

And finally, just some last looks at the little guy. This one is only like 30 seconds long.

And that's our baby boy! Can't wait to see him in real life!

Hayley's actual words to me this morning:

2010-07-09T08:06:00.001-06:00

"For the record, I don't think your poops are super stinky..."

And those are words from a pregnant girl who can smell rain coming a day before anyone else, and can smell the neighbor's burned caserole. Just sayin'. :)

Quick tip No. 6

2010-06-23T15:22:00.000-06:00

If you go on a grammar rant online, make certain you double check your spelling on anything you post after said rant for two weeks at the very least.

Quick tip No. 5

2010-06-17T15:31:00.000-06:00

If you're used to using two regular sized pillows and get new king-sized pillows, you probably only need one.

Time to brag up my Hayley girl

2010-06-16T19:48:00.002-06:00

If you didn't know, Hayley is going to have a baby. Yeah, that's right. But with that, we are lucky enough that she will get to stay home with our baby boy when he gets here! That means this is her last year of teaching. After nine years of teaching. Hayley doesn't like to talk herself up as a teacher, but she's awesome at it. Just to give you an idea, here are a few things that have happened this week.

The principal cried when she turned in her letter of resignation. The principal even knew she was quitting, but once it came time to actually give the notice that she wouldn't be back, the principal cried. She's that good. She's going to be a huge asset lost.
One family told Hayley they were postponing moving because they wanted their youngest kid to have her as a teacher. Their kid is in kindergarten this year. That means they were waiting at least two years in a place they don't like (they apparently hate where they live), just to have Hayley be their kid's teacher.
Another lady said they had to pray about it to come to peace with the idea that their next kid wouldn't be in Hayley's class. They know know it's what will be best for her, her baby, and her family... uh, thanks for the extra witness, but we already knew that. But how sweet is that? They really like her. It was devastating that she wouldn't be their kid's teacher.

There are more things that I don't know of, or that aren't big enough for a bullet, but there are lots of comments like "we'll miss you," and "I can't believe you're leaving," and "what will we do without you," and "our kids will never have as good a teacher as you."

And I know how good she is and how much everyone loves her. I know how great she is with kids, what a good teacher she is, and all that. I am so grateful. I am so lucky to never have to say anything like that. My kids will always get to have her as a teacher. And even better, they'll have her as a mom. Hayley, I know you're looking forward to being done with school, but I also know it's hard, too. I'm so glad you get to stay home with our little guy, and I'll be forever grateful that you have chosen to do so. I love you, Hayley girl!

Obama = Frodo... and not in a good way.

2010-06-16T19:27:00.001-06:00

If you didn't see it when I posted on Facebook, check this out. First, I'd like to say that I'm not an Obama hater. I just don't think there is ANYONE in politics that is worth anything, regardless of political party. I know people that voted for Obama solely because he was going to close down Guantanamo Bay, or end the war... Well, if Bush was a liar about WMD, or the "We've won the war" fiasco, then Obama should answer for his BS, too.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Respect My Authoritah

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tea Party

And yes, I know Jon Stewart with The Daily Show may not be the source I should go to for information, but Mr. Stewart IS an Obama supporter. It goes to show even more why I can't get involved in politics... all the lies, deceit, strives for power... and that's the sad part. I guess with my disappointment in the President is just more disappointment in myself for not caring and not doing much about it...

Mr. Fix-it...

2010-06-15T16:32:00.003-06:00

Sorta. I mean, I mostly just followed the instructions...

Note: this post is somewhat interactive. To get the full story and picture (and actual pictures, for that matter), you will want to follow the links. You don't have to--I'm not bossing you or anything--but it will make your reading experience more complete. That's all. Oh, and the pictures I took aren't super great. Deal with it.

Lately, we have been making a few changes, getting ready for the furniture that we bought. With the new bed, we're going to move out the dressers and make room for my desk and a filing cabinet. With the couch and dining room table, we are going to make room for another desk for Hayley. This, in turn, frees up the second bedroom to be the baby's room. Which will eventually get a crib, probably a rocker, and a changing table. The thing is, we didn't have all of these items ready to go, or in the queue to be delivered.

So this last week, I made some stuff. I put together our filing cabinet. It wasn't too bad. Just followed the directions.

And I put together Hayley's desk. This task was a little more tricky because it had more involved more pieces, but it wasn't too bad. There was one incident with a non-cooperating drawer, and a final incident where the last two screws didn't want to fit, but some trial and error and a drill worked that out.

On top of making those two furniture items from the boxes, Hayley, Jared (who blogs less than I do), and I made a DVD shelf. The thing is, with all the changes in the living room, we don't really have room for the tower-type DVD stands. Or better said, we don't want to waste precious floor space on DVD towers. On top of that, the towers we have don't do so well on the super plush carpet we have now--they want to tip over all the time. Anyway, Hayley drew up some plans (that's right, she just drew up plans for a two level DVD shelf. She's THAT awesome.), we bought some lumber, brought it to Jared's to cut it to the right lengths, then Jared and I put it together, and I stained it.

It still needs some final touches (one more coat of stain and a back--that will need to be stained), and it's done. Then our DVDs will sit nicely on top of the entertainment center.

Upcoming projects will include moving old furniture to Mom and Dad's to be stored, painting and putting together the crib, and possibly putting together a rocking chair and changing table. Oh, and I'm also going to fix the droopy side of our entertainment center.

It sorta looks like it had palsy on one side or something...

So that's that! What have you been up to lately?

Do you think they have rainbows in other states?

2010-06-07T21:02:00.000-06:00

A girl actually said this to me today. Or an iteration of this. Let me tell the whole story.

so I have been getting my hair cut at SuperCuts. Mostly because I don't like paying for hair cuts, so I want to go to cheap places. This has bitten me in the butt a lot lately. I used to only get hair cuts like once every six months, but now I'm respectable and get one every month. Or two. Anyway, I digress.

So I went to SuperCuts for my monthly hair cut, and I have mentioned to Hayley I don't like getting my hair cut there. I don't like the forced small talk. And I don't mean any offense, but most of the girls that work there are not too bright. The forced conversation is less than stimulating. But today I tried. The girl talked to me and I was cordial. She asked if I liked the weather we were having and I said yes, except when it storms like it did yesterday. Then she asked if I saw the rainbow. I did, and said it was pretty vivid. And then the magic happens. I can't do it justice describing it, so as well as I can remember, the conversation goes like this:

Hair cut girl: How do rainbows even happen anyway?
Me: [too flabbergasted to give actual responses anymore] I don't know. [Light refracting off of water droplets in the air, you idiot... seriously? Did you miss out on second grade?]
Hair cut girl: I mean, is it like light reflecting off a puddle or something? Like in the air?
Me: [.......really?] ...huh....
Hair cut girl: They don't get them like that in other states, right? I mean, like it's only in our valley, right? Like, we're the only ones that get rainbows like that.
Me: [...........?!!!???] I don't know.
Hair cut girl: ...yeah...

And there you have it. I stopped talking to her and could not WAIT to get out of the chair to tell Hayley. Not only due to this conversation, but the fact that three out of three cheap hair cut places I have been to don't know how to cut hair, I think I'm finally going to give in and go to Hayley's hair cut girl. I guess you get what you pay for. In hair cuts and conversation.

It was a good run, Ted

2010-05-26T20:56:00.001-06:00

So they canceled Better Off Ted. I hate that. As soon as Hayley told me about it, I let out a long, sad, "Nooooooooo!!!" It was one of the best shows on TV. It made me laugh out loud multiple times, every episode. I just wish more people watched it. Read about the cancellation here. It's a damn shame.

I was going to put a few clips here, but it makes me too sad to watch through the clips. Just go to Youtube and do a search for Better Off Ted. Seriously. Just do it. (Or just click on the Better Off Ted links throughout this post. They're still playing clips there.) Thank goodness we've got Netflix now so I can watch the two short seasons over and over again.

Best. Wife. Ever.

2010-05-25T17:27:00.000-06:00

Hayley's pretty awesome. But she just proved it yet again to me the other night. We finally got to Target to run a few errands we've been planning to do for a long time, and while walking around the store, we ran into some orange towels. I smiled at them, but we walked past. Later, we ran into a sweet orange trash can, and it had matching soap dispenser, tooth brush holder, and a little bowl for cotton balls and stuff. I was a big fan. And Hayley, seeing how much I liked the items, suggested we get them and make our bathroom orange. Now, I want the record to show that I didn't push this. She wanted to do this for me. And while we were talking about it, she even meant the bathroom in our room. How freakin' nice is that? I don't think the orange would have gone as well with our neutral browns in the bedroom, and I was thinking the guest bathroom anyway. So we agreed on changing the other bathroom. She's the best! Do you follow? I just got an orange bathroom!

So without further ado, here are the before and after photos. This is also my first attempt to use Picnik.

This next one shows the shower curtain better. I didn't do so well with the "after" shot of it above.

Pretty cool, huh? I'm freakin' stoked. It's all so orange! If you know me at all, that's a pretty awesome bathroom in my eyes. Thanks for indulging me, Hayley!

Room for rent

2010-04-12T21:40:00.000-06:00

Hiya folks. So I've got a condo that needs some decent people to live in it. The place is three bedrooms, two bath, ground floor, free cable, close to the pool and laundromat. We would like to find good renters from people we know or referrals from people we know. That way, the place won't be trashed, and we'll all have a relatively good experience. Please, ask your friends and family. If they're looking for a place to rent, please point them my direction. Leave a comment and I'll get you the details.

Here's hopin' this interwebs works for us!

Side effects of the new job

2010-04-06T12:19:00.001-06:00

I am not shaving as often. This is probably not great. It makes my sensitive skin all the more irritated when I do shave. But working at home means I don't have to shave because the boss doesn't really see me...
I feel like a tech geek. I now have a phone, an iPod touch, and a BlackBerry that I cary around all the time. Gets a little bulky.
I have a SkyMiles account. It's not building up as fast as some of my coworkers, but someday I might get a free airline ticket out of it.
I eat lunch from home most days. This isn't new, but it is kinda fun to watch a TV show during lunch on my couch at home, and I don't have to work out drive time nto my lunch break. That, or I just eat at my desk.
I don't fill my car with gas as often. That's also because I don't drive my car much. Because Hayley is still working (back on track today. Sorry, babe.), I don't park in the driveway so she can get her car out in the morning. That means when we go anywhere together, we usually take her car beause it's in the driveway.
My sleep is ridden with stuff from work. I don't love that, but I'm sure it'll stop. Once I sorta get the hang of things. I hope that's sooner than later.
I don't check my personal email, facebook, write blog posts, comment on blogs, or do much else on the internet. I spend enough time on a computer these days, I just don't want to spend more. So sorry if I haven't been very accessible lately. I'll try harder. Maybe.

There, a new blog post for you. Can't say I'll pick up on blogging much, but I'll try.

Chicago Day 1

2010-03-06T14:25:00.001-07:00

We arrived safe and sound in Chicago last night. This morning started with me helping get the network up and running with Mike and Marleen's new laptop. There was one point that I wasn't sure if I had ruined everything or not, but after a few pokes and prods, the network worked the way I told it to, and everyhing is good. As soon as the new desktop arrives next week, setup should be smooth and easy.

After the network was taken care of, breakfast eaten, and showers taken, we went to see all of the schools where Hayley went. There was some confusion on whether or not she went straight to high school after elementary, but as it turns out, she did it in order just like the rest of us. (Just kidding... we went to see her elementary, then the high school, THEN the junior high.) And her junior high doesn't look anything like it used to. It was cool to see all her schools. I kept smiling.

For lunch, we went to Portillo's and MAN was that good! New York dogs have NOTHING on a Chicago dog. At Portillo's, we took our first Chicago pictures. Take a look:

Mike and Marleen. We got some cheese sauce for the fries, and Marleen's salad looked mighty tasty!

This is me and Hayley enjoying lunch. Check out that hot dog. It had ketchup, mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, and a giant pickle spear on it.

That's the day so far. I am very excited to be here! Everything just makes me smile. I think it's because I'm finally experiencing Hayley's town with her as my guide. I'm enjoying every minute!

I can't promise I'll blog every day, but I'll do my best.

Happy Brithday, Hayley Girl!

2010-03-03T00:00:00.003-07:00

How do you tell the person you care about most in the whole world how much you love her? How do you find the right words? Even if you like words, and even like putting words into legible and concise sentences, how do you find the right thing to say--or write? That's how I feel when I try to verbalize what I feel for Hayley. She is the most important person in the world to me and means so much to me.

Today is her birthday. Happy Birthday, Hayley! We're playing it pretty low key this year, but we're headed to her home town the end of this week, where we'll be sure to live it up. I can't wait to see all the places she grew up, meet the old friends, and get to see firsthand the people and places that were part of her formative years. In no particular older, can't wait to see William Fremd, walk down "the RIGHT terminal in the RIGHT airport," watch Robin Hood and The Fugitive, have root beer floats, eat at Ed's, Lou's, and countless other places. But mostly I can't wait to be there with her.

Hayley, you're my best friend. I love you so much and I want you to be the happiest girl in the world. I hope you have the best birthday ever! Love you!!

"Tonight's not the night to ride my ass, buddy..."

2010-02-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

Those were some of my final remarks from tonight. Let me explain.

First, I think I'm a fairly easy going guy. I don't get mad at too much, and I think I'm pretty patient with crappy service. Even crappy waiters. I'm not known to talk to the manager, have my food sent back, or things like that. But tonight was a little out of hand.

The waiter took forever to actually get to us, and when he did, he said he'd be with us in a couple seconds. Which turned into 5 more minutes. When he finally got to us, we were not really appreciative of his description of his favorite wine carried by the restaurant.When all he took were our drink orders, I had to stop him and let him know we were ready to order.

We ordered dipping sauce with our meal. I think ordering dipping sauce is indicative of people who like bread sticks, right? Well, he brought out our salad and no bread sticks. We waited forever. When the bread sticks and sauce finally came, he brought three, which were gone pretty quickly. We waited some more. When he finally got around to filling our water, he still didn't refill the bread. In the mean time while we waited, the dipping sauce got cold. Then the food arrived, brought in by a different server. We ate a couple bites, but waited for our waiter to show up with bread to finish our dipping sauce. The bread refill came with two more bread sticks, for a total of five. Five? Do you think people who order dipping sauce only want to share five bread sticks between them? Those were gone pretty quickly, too.

Now, I'm not claiming that I'm dainty. I'm a big guy. I like food. But I'm not a pain in the ass about it. I don't think even skinny people going to a pasta joint think two baskets of bread should equal five bread sticks. At this point, we were not enjoying our meal, hated the waiter, got sick of seeing him chat it up with other waiters while he ignored us, and watch people who were seated after us get better treatment. so we talked to the manager. She was nice, we explained our service and how disappointing it was, we offered to just pay so we could leave, but she comped our meal. Which was mostly sitting on the table anyway, so I guess it was fair...

Again, I don't usually do this kinda stuff. Neither does Hayley. We're pretty easy to please. If the guy had even said sorry for the wait, it would have smoothed things over some. Or if he had the sense to bring more than three bread sticks at a time to people who pay for dipping sauce. But all that, added on top of the neglect and wait time, and it was too much. I mean, if your job is to serve people, and your pay is based off how good a job you do at serving, wouldn't you want to make sure you did a good job?

After reading this, am I being a little too demanding? I say again, I don't normally do this. If the service is bad, I usually just suck it up. I even tip pretty good. But this was nuts.

So then, after this crappy service, we left. And on the way home, some jerk starts tailgating me. I was doing about 42 in a 35. There's no need for that. And now you know why I've chosen this particular title for this blog post. And why I tapped the breaks a bit and slowed to 30.

An even bigger and more important change

2010-02-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hayley kinda wants me to blog about my business trip last week, but I have something more important to write about. Well, mostly just go to that link and you'll find out all about it. I just wanted to say I'm excited and happy and really looking forward to the future right now.

My only addition to Hayley's story is that I knew it. I knew she was pregnant. I just KNEW it! I don't know why, but even when she was sad and sure she wasn't even ovulating (if ovulating is too strong a word for you, you better not read Hayley's post ;). ), I was sure everything was ok. I didn't say anything, but when she was late, I was pretty sure she was pregnant. When the first test was "negative," it didn't phase me much. When she was still late two days later, I was still pretty sure. When she told me it was negative again, I started to get bummed, but then I saw the "negative" test for myself, I was so excited! We're gonna have a baby! We're gonna be a dad and a mom? Woo hoo!

Anyway, that's my short addition to the story. We're very excited. I am certain I'm going to embarrass this kid like crazy, but I can't wait to. And when Hayley said someone may have cried at the ultrasound, well... yeah, someone may have.

A big change...

2010-02-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

As many of you may or not know, I don't ever say the name of my employer on my blog. Part of this is because if I were to, the Mar-Comm (Marketing-Communications) Manager at my work would get a notice that a blog somewhere mentioned the company. I know the Mar-Comm Manager and, in fact, have a link to her personal blog on my blog. We're pals. But I don't care to have my blog all up in my work business. Worlds colliding, and all that. I don't tell most work people about my blog, because most of them don't need any additional glimpse into my personal life... but moving on.

The imminent big change to which this post refers deals with my employment. I'm going to be changing jobs. It's quite a big change for me in many ways. I'll be moving from a small company to a very large, international company. I will go from driving to and from the office every day to working from home. I will go from one small facet of technical writing to a wider range of writing. I'll be learning new skills on top of that, and will make myself more marketable. And they'll be paying me a bit more... That isn't everything that's great about it, but you get the idea. It is going to be a big change, and Hayley and I are very excited about it.

The reason why I mentioned everything in the first paragraph is that I plan to follow the same philosophy about mentioning the name of my employer on my blog. That is to say, I won't be mentioning the name of my employer or giving many details about work. I'll tell you in person (or via text, email, chat, whatever) a little more about it if you're interested. But here's a little clue about where I'm going.

Wish me luck!

I made apple sauce today

2010-01-31T12:24:00.001-07:00

That's right. I just whipped up a batch of apple sauce. Ten minutes before, I didn't know I would be making it. But I'm that awesome. I can just whip up a batch of apple sauce.

That's all really.

Quick tip No. 4

2010-01-31T12:22:00.002-07:00

Don't wear sunglasses inside.

This is for many reasons. For one, you look like you're trying to be a rockstar, and you AREN'T a rockstar. sorry. Second, when you turn the lights on in your house, you will wonder why everything seems so dark. Then you'll realize you're a moron and still have your sunglasses on.

Not so SAD anymore

2010-01-28T19:12:00.002-07:00

Remember when I was SAD a while ago? Well, now we're past the shortest day of the year, and the sun is coming back!

Today on my drive home, I even got to wear my super awesome sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses, that is. I have gotten the transition lenses in the past, but they don't work in the car, and sometimes give me that creepy, neighborhood perv look, so I'm done with those. I wanted to get some sunglasses, and Hayley took real good care of me and let me get some sweet Ray Bans. They're awesome. I've never had prescription sunglasses before. Thanks, Hayley girl, for takin' real good care of me.

Anyway, so there is sun again on the drive home! Seeing as I currently work in a cube with no available natural light, that is pretty awesome. The next best thing would be to get an office next to a window. :)

Quick tip No. 3

2010-01-21T19:54:00.002-07:00

Don't bite your fingernails. Especially in front of your wife.

Happy Anniversary, Hayley!

2010-01-17T08:00:00.002-07:00

It has been a year since I married Hayley. It was the best decision of my life. I am so glad she said yes and so happy to have found her. I didn't know if I'd ever find someone like her. Someone who got my weird jokes, liked my crass sense of humor, and who wanted to grow with me. I never thought I would find someone who makes me laugh so much, who I can't stand to live without, and with whom I can do anything. Spending an evening at home doing laundry, cleaning the dishes, and watching TV with for example. I never thought I could enjoy that so much! Ever single second I spend with her, I love. I hate being away from her for long. Those moments seem empty and I just miss her. I miss her when I'm at work, and the anticipation of coming home makes my heart beat faster.

Hayley is beautiful, strong, funny, witty, loving, loyal, smart, an excellent teacher, and my best friend. And I am married to her. I am the luckiest man in the world. I never dreamed fo being so happy and feeling so loved.

Hayley, I love you. It is hard to believe that you would even like a guy like me. I am so happy. You are the best. You're a good friend, a great wife, and you'll be a great mom. I love you more and more with each passing day. When we were engaged, I was shell shocked with how much I loved you and how much you loved me. I thought we really had something great. It seems impossible, but I love you more and more each day and my heart just gets bigger and bigger, and fuller and fuller with how much I love you. I would do anything for you. The best part is, I know it will just keep getting better!

I hope this year has been as incredible for you as it has been for me. I love you. Happy anniversary!

Quick question...

2010-01-14T22:54:00.003-07:00

If there REALLY is one secret to a flat tummy--and I KNOW there is because the internet tells me so... on ads on blogs I read, adds on the side of my email accounts, and spam emails I get at work--why hasn't anyone paid the proper amount, then divulged this ONE secret on the internet yet? I mean, you can google up the formula for figuring out Weight Watchers points. You can YouTube up the P90X videos, so why hasn't anyone just stolen this "one tiny secret to a flat tummy" and told the rest of us about it?

And more importantly, if this has already been done, why must I still be innundated with all the ads everywhere I go on the interwebs?