Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Surviving the zombie apocalypse

So the blizzard coming has got everyone all riled up. Not unnecessarily so, but there is definitely a lot of talk about it--ok, mostly lots on the news and on facebook, but what else is there?

The blizzard had Hayley worried, and again, rightly so. At one point today, she even said to me something like, "I'm getting ready for the blizzard to come, and to live like I Am Legend is real!" Which made me laugh and say something snarky like, "Yes, we should definitely prepare for the zombie apocalypse!" Which lead to various facebook statuses and comments, and now this blog post (Hayley is also doing a post, but I'm not going to read it until I've written mine, just to keep our opinions unaffected.)

So I give you, How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse (with comments on what my zombie survival rules really mean)

  1. Make sure you have plenty of food (With Thanksgiving coming, Mikey is still not able to travel very far in a car without screaming his guts out, so we're not going to be able to travel to Richfield with my family. Instead, we're going to crash the Williams's Thanksgiving and have it with Hayley's sister's family. And we're bringing a couple food items, so Hayley had to get them before the storm came in.)
  2. Prepare for power outages (Hayley did so by doing 4 loads of laundry, doing the dishes, and vacuuming the floors. Because if we don't have power, we'll still need clothes, dishes, and clean floors.)
  3. Make sure your car has gas -- you may need to make a quick escape, and full tank will ensure you get where you're going (In case we lost power and heat, and needed to get somewhere where there is heat [family or friends around], we needed a full tank. Hayley went to get it before the storm came in, to be safe. Oh, as an added bonus, she mentioned if we lost power, we could put our frozen goods outside to keep them frozen. She thinks of everything!)
  4. Board up your windows! You don't want the zombies getting in (We actually got some of those plastic, shrink-wrap window insulators for Mikey's room, because it is the coldest in the house. The windows are drafty, and we now don't have to worry that he catches his death in his own room at night.)
  5. Make sure you have a year supply of candles and batteries (Hayley got a little worried that if we lost power, we didn't have any candles because we have Scentsy. I reminded her that I still had a zillion votives from when I proposed. We have a couple flashlights and plenty of batteries. After we had been talking about zombies for a while, she told me she picked up a year supply.)
  6. In case of power outages, make sure you have a method for cooking food (After letting me know we could put our frozen goods out on the lawn, Hayley said we could bring the grill inside and cook with that if need be. And she even picked out a place in the kitchen where we'd put it, because on the carpet just would not do.)
  7. Check in on your friends (Hayely kept calling and checking on a few friends that are travelling today and tomorrow. She kept saying to one in particular, "Why am I so worried about you! Just be safe, ok?" 
And that should do ya. Well, if it's the ACTUAL zombie apocalypse, you'll need a shotgun and plenty of shells, too. But these seven rules should keep you safe.

Love you, Hayley. :)


Leon said...

Thank you for using the correct form of the possessive noun Williams's. Also, have you read the Complete Zombie Survival Guide?

Chelsea said...

Nate has plenty of guns and ammo, so when it does come, our house is the place to be! hahaha

Jared said...

Give me a call before you fire up your grill indoors. I'll wait about 15 minutes, then head over to wake you all up from your carbon monoxide induced coma's.

Erin said...

I would like to know more about all these votives you have from when you proposed. I don't know that story...

garrett said...

Erin, go see these posts: http://untitledstatements.blogspot.com/2008/09/she-said-yes.html



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