...oh, I'm out of school...

My blog feels severely neglected, and while I do have a post coming up that includes people making fools of themselves on camera while playing Wii tennis for the first time, I should, in the meantime, share a fun little story. (On an unrelated note, I like very long descriptive sentences... get used to them...)

Last Saturday, I went to my car and my neighbor was actually at her car. This is, in fact, a rarity; I never see my neighbors and don't even know their names... I think the guy who lives upstairs with his wife, new baby, and two cats who comes down periodically on weekends to ask us to be quite is named Steve... but I'm pretty sure that's wrong... he just looks so Steve-like to me.

Anyway, so I saw a different neighbor. She was putting power steering fluid in her jeep, that, not surprisingly, happened to be leaking power steering fluid. See, I feel a sort of obligation to say hi to any and all neighbors I actually come in contact with. Partly because I have no idea who any of them are, I have no interaction with them, and I think it would be nice to get to know a few neighbors beyond vague references to "the couple upstairs" and "the old guy next door who might be dying." See, lovely terms of endearment, aren't they. The other reason I say hi to everyone is because I heard somewhere that your neighbors who you don't know are most likely to rob you because they know your schedule, and if you let them know you're watching them--even by simply saying hello when you see them--they will be less likely to break in... that's very paranoid, I know, but I really don't know anyone and it's just nicer to say hi to people.

So after I said hi, we chatted a little bit about cars and what a nuisance they are. I told her about the car I drove in high school that had a horrible oil leak that was so bad my dad made me keep a case of oil in the trunk at all times. After swapping stories, she apologized for parking so close to me, and said she'd move her car so I could get out. I assured her I could make it out just fine and she should focus on getting her car in working order.

Then the kicker. As I was getting into my car, she then wished me good luck with school or wherever I was going. I bashfully told her, "Oh, I'm out of school." Her response was, "Oh, I know you're out of school, I meant college." Then, trying to hide a smirk, I replied, "Oh, I finished college, too..." and just smiled as I got in my car while she said with shock in her voice how great it was that I had finished college. I didn't know what to say to make it less awkward, especially since I was already getting into my car, so I instead smiled a thank you and drove away.

I'm not sure if it was because she thought I was young enough to still be in college or that I surprised someone by telling them I do, in fact, have a college degree that made me feel good, but it was a little funny to me and made me smile to myself a little. The more prideful part of me wanted to also tell her that I own the unit I live in--I'm not renting like many at my complex seem to be. But then I'd probably get hit by a truck or something for not taking the compliment and moving on with life.

And just to keep things in their proper perspective, today at work I stood in the elevator wondering why it wasn't going to the second floor, when I realized I hadn't pushed the button. I guess it all evens out.

I rule

Seems only fair, considering the title of my last post, that my next post to have a more self-aggrandizing title.

I LOVE practical jokes and pranks. April Fools Day is, therefore, gold to me. This year I had a lot of fun. I started the day off by putting post-it notes on the bottom of various co-worker's mouses (mice?) so they wouldn't work. One girl even called IT because she couldn't get her mouse to work! I sorta stole the idea when I found out about the girl who called IT, but I got like six more people and it was fun.

I also changed settings on one guy's computer so his screen was upside down. He had to tilt his head to the side to bring up the properties to switch it back. That's what you get when you don't lock your computer when you leave your desk in an office.

At home, I saran wrapped my roommates' toilet. Poor Brandon sat on it and wondered what the crap was wrong with the toilet. No worries, no mess to clean up!

I also pulled the ol' switch-a-roo with orange Gatorade and movie theater popcorn butter. I bought an eight pack of Gatorade, opened one of the bottles without breaking the seal, dumped out the Gatorade, and replaced it with the butter. The one problem was that the Gatorade bottle holds 20 ounces and the bottle of popcorn butter was only 16 ounces. I had to fill the rest with a little vegetable oil so it would make it to the top.

The butter is already in there. I'm adding the vegetable oil.

It looked EXACTLY like the Gatorade. I swear. I've got pictures to prove it.

See?! The buttery goodness Gatorade is the front left bottle. You can't even tell, can you.

Then I put three bottles, one filled with buttery goodness, and left them on the counter with a note that said, "Help yourself. I didn't love these. Too low cal. for me." (Thanks for the help with that one, Niki.) So began the crazy game of butter roulette, and my poor roommates had no idea they were playing. Matt took the first bottle. Brandon took the second. I was freaking out when only one bottle was left and it was the butter, but today when I came home from work, the last bottle was gone. Brandon took it to school and got thirsty during class. A vocal training class. He only got a sip, but man, just hearing him tell the story I was dying! I really wish I could have been there.

Thanks for the pictures, Tiff. I'll see if I can get the video later and I'll post it when I get it.

And finally, today I pranked my boss. Yes, I know it's a little late, but she had a family emergency on Monday, so I didn't want to be an insensitive jerk and play jokes on her. Today she was good and ready. See, my boss is a huge fan of the television show, The Office. So I stole her stapler last night when I left and took it home and put it in Jell-O. Don't believe me? Well, here's your proof.

Side view.

Top view.

I had to hang the stapler upside down in the bowl, suspended in the liquid Jell-O so the edges of the stapler wouldn't touch the edges of the bowl. Then in the morning when the Jell-O had set, I just cut the strings and pulled them out, leaving the stapler dead center in the Jell-O mold. It worked out wonderfully. Driving to work with a plate of Jell-O, however, was not super easy...

Anyway, I've got a few pictures at work and my boss's reaction. Hope you enjoy them!

The Boss's reaction to her stapler in Jell-O.

Then I made her pose with the Jell-O.

Oh, I forgot to mention one guy at work had a small role in this prank. He gave me a dollar to buy the Jell-O and helped me really decide that I should, in fact, take company property and put it in desert form. he took this video.

And that's it. I had some other plans that didn't quite work out, but it was still a really fun April Fools. Did you fool anyone?

I'm stupid

...but oh well.

I bought this thing with the sole purpose to blog about it. It's really dumb, but I didn't realize it until about day 4. You put this egg into water and it says in 48 hours it will hatch into a little chick. 48 hours my butt! This guy took like 2 weeks.

Well, I named him Spike. Which is the name I will give any pet if I ever own a pet. Which I won't. And if I ever own a dog, (which is even more unlikely then ever having a pet) I will name him or her Slobber.

Well, here are the many, many stages of Spike's birth.



And there ya have it. It's pretty lame, I know. But it's kinda neat to see the progression of Spike hatchin' out, right? I just put him alone in a fresh glass of water. (you can sorta see that his water was getting foggy.) maybe he'll grow a little bit more! If he does, I might post one more picture.

Symphony and Super Mario

Saturday I went to see the Utah Symphony. But this wasn't your average symphony. This production was called Video Games Live and featured music from some well known video games. And it wasn't just the symphony playing some boring music; there was a laser show, a giant screen with clips from the video games they were showing, and the occasional audience interaction. One guy had to put on a shirt with the space invaders ship on the back, then move on the stage to play space invaders on the big screen. All this happened while the symphony played the music to the game while he played. It was pretty awesome. Another two people challenged each other in a game of Frogger. The symphony played and if their froggy got squished, they had to play the squished frog music. It was pretty neat. The announcer guy said it was like how rich people play video games.

I took some pictures and a few videos... which suck because I don't know how to take pictures and they were taken with my phone. hopefully you can see what's going on and can sorta hear the music on the videos. I didn't get anything from act I, so everything will be from the second act.

This one is one of the creators of the show playing guitar. I think this was during music from Halo.

This is a cruddy picture of a guy dressed as Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII. I used to totally love the Final Fantasy series, and FFVII was one of their best. They made a movie based on it, and like 3 other games with the same characters. There were a couple other people dressed up, but I'm not so into video games like I used to be, and I didn't recognize them...

When the intermission was wrapping up, they had this up on the screen. You can't read it very well, but it says, "Video Games Live. Downloading Act II..." while the little meter showed how much time was left. Pretty clever.

While we waited for the second act to start, they were also playing some pop/game culture music. One of which was the Numa Numa song and this guy was totally doing the dance that made the song internet famous.

I tried to get a movie of the people at the show. Tiff makes her debut here. (Sorry, Tiff. It had to be posted!)

Later during the show, they played some music from Final Fantasy. You can sorta see some scenes on the big screen. (If nobody else but Jason thinks this is cool, I'll be ok.)

They also played music from Castlevania. Man, was that a fun game!

I had to take two videos of that one.

Pretty fun show, huh!? We went to IHOP after (because Tiff is quitting sugar... who DOES that?) but I got a tasty treat! Check out this beezlenut splash beverage, based on Horton Hears a Who.


It was Sprite with floating blue and red Jell-O in it. As weird as that sounds, it was really, REALLY good. What a fun night!

Tagged from A to Z

Robin tagged me and my blog is pretty boring these days, so I'm actually going to do one of these. I think Jill tagged me a while ago with this same one, so I'm killing two birds with one stone... and I'm SO into killing birds... ummmm... Anyway, here's the tag. (There are a lot of hyperlinks in this one! Fun-a-la-fun.)

A - Attached or single? Single.
B - Best friend? Probably Katey Kimball.
C - Cake or pie? Pie all the way... unless it's cheese cake.
D - Day of choice? It's a toss up between Friday and Saturday. Probably Friday wins most the time.
E - Essential item? Shorts. Love 'em. I have to wear slacks, shirt, and tie every day to work, so I'm one of those white guys that wears shorts when the weather starts to change.
F - Favorite color? Orange.
G - Gummy bears or worms? Bears. Worms are too... solid?
H - Hometown? West Jordan.
I - Indulgences? Cafe Rio and Cadbury Mini Eggs.
J - January or July? Most the time, January. I'd rather be cold than hot. In the cold, you can always put on more layers. You can only take off so much if it's blistering hot.
K - Kids? Nope.
L - Life isn't complete without? The Lappy and Saturday morning sleep-ins.
M - Marriage date? Ummmm... see my first answer.
N - Number of brothers and sisters? Three sisters (two with blogs) and two brothers (one with... umm... not a blog, but a website).
O - Oranges or apples? Oranges.
P - Phobias or fears? Heights and jumping from them.
Q - Quote? Don't really have a favorite quote... but this one's fun: Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
R - Reason to smile? Ummmm... the weekend!
S - Season of choice? Fall.
T - Tag six: I'll tag Jason, Jenni, Tiff, Em, Tiff, and Niki. But I won't feel bad if you don't do it.
U - Unknown fact about me? Ummm... I'm pretty much an open book. But here's something. I usually only get hair cuts every six months. I hate getting a hair cut. I hate having to pay for it, mostly... seems like such a waste of money, since it's just going to grow back again.
V - Vegetable? I like all veggies mostly... really like corn on the cob and peas.
W - Worst habit? Ummmmm... is the inability to control portion sizes a bad habit?
X - X-ray or ultrasound? Am I supposed to have a preference? Like some doctor says, "Hey, would you want an X-ray or an ultrasound?" Really? I've only ever had X-rays, however.
Y - Your favorite food? Lasagna or really any Italian food.
Z - Zodiac sign? Libra. Balanced, and perfect in every way. :-)

Done and done. Do you feel like you know me better or was this basically a review of what you already know about me?

Who needs sleep?

Ok, I've already talked about this once before, but seriously, what is my problem? I haven't been to bed before 1 a.m. in the last three weeks. I'm still blaming it on daylight savings, but really, I should have adjusted by now, right?

I don't know what it is. A couple weeks ago, I went on a business trip. We drove to Durango, Colorado. (That's right, DROVE.) The whole drive, I slept. One of the coworkers I went with even said I have vehicular narcolepsy. But the point is, I slept a whole bunch that weekend, which is usually all I need to catch up and I'm good. It doesn't help to go to bed at 3 a.m. the next three days, I guess.

So does anyone have any advice? What can I do to get to bed on time??

Saint Pat's

It's late, but I gotta write about the St. Patrick's Day party I went to on Saturday.

We started the night off by kissing the Blarney Stone. Upside down, which I found out later is the preferred method for kissing Blarney Stones.

Then we went on a St. Patrick's treasure hunt. I was grouped with Caron and her friend from work. We were lucky enough to get the only green colored clues, which was an excellent omen. After breaking a few minor traffic laws and running all around West Jordan, we found the pot of gold first! Go Team Green!

The second best part of the night was the Irish jig instruction and subsequent competition. Emma has been taking Scottish and Irish dancing lessons and was gracious enough to share her newfound talent with the group. I've got a few videos. As usual, they sorta suck as they were taken with my cell phone, but it's still fun to watch.

After performing a little Irish hard shoe dance, Emma taught everyone how to do a basic jig. It started with a basic step, that Christy and Krista learned pretty quickly. They even made their own little dance in a circle.

Once everyone had the basic step, Emma taught a few more steps, and everyone got involved.

So once everyone was happily jigging in the living room, there was a little competition.

The winner got an Irish shot glass. How very appropriate. Which leads to the funnest part of the night.

Before I tell you about it, I feel I must give a little background. I may or may not have told you about "The Fridge Game." If I haven't, the basic premise is that you label seemingly random items in your refrigerator from 2-12, roll some dice, then you have to eat a spoonful of whatever you roll. It could be anything from cool whip to lemon garlic marinade. It's a touch insane, but very fun. But oddly enough, I can never get anyone to play!

So, seeing as St. Patrick's Day is an Irish holiday and the Irish are known for their drinking, we played a little drinking game. (Don't worry Mom, fam, and other concerned readers, no alcohol was involved.) This game involves filling 6 shot glasses with various liquids. You roll the die and you have to drink the glass labeled with your corresponding number. If the glass is empty, you get to fill it with whatever you want, and can mix and match liquids. For example, glass 3 is filled with water. I roll a 3 and I drink the water. Sally, who is next, also rolls a 3. Because the glass is now empty, she doesn't have to drink anything, but adds grape juice to the empty shot glass. And so on.

Because we had no alcohol, we got a little creative with our liquids. We had green punch, water, grape juice, hot chocolate, salsa, chicken broth, ginger ale, and redi-whip. (You see how this relates to The Fridge Game now?)

Here you have hot chocolate, water, grape juice, salsa, green punch, and chicken broth

You may be saying, "But Garrett, that's more than six! How does that work with only six shot glasses?" My answer, dear reader, is that--as stated earlier--the rules allow mixing and matching liquids. For example, I had to drink a shot of chicken broth, salsa, and grape juice topped with redi-whip. In the words of Rachel Ray, "Yummo!" And believe me, it only got worse. By the end, solids started getting added to our shots-things like peas and chocolate. Oh, and a blueberry muffin.

Everyone had a good time, though, and it's the closest I've ever gotten to getting people to play The Fridge Game. A few folks were really stressed over having to drink some of those crazy mixed shots, and there were always shouts and laughter as we watched our buddies choke down each swallow. It was some crazy fun, though!

P.S. Photos completely and utterly stolen from Christy's Blog. Thanks Christy!

Dáme la abuela naraja

Ok, this may be really stupid to the rest of you, but I was rolling on the floor!

One semester of Spanish, Spanish love song

If you don't think it's funny, here are a few reasons why I think it is:
1 - At most family gatherings, my sister--thanks to cheesy Spanish soap operas and the fact that I served a Spanish speaking mission--often says with very dramatic emphasis the phrases "No fumar en el baño!" and "¿Que hora es?" and it's funny every time.
2 - In college, my roommate Jared used to say nonsensical phrases in Spanish, including the title of this blog post, which means, "Give me the orange grandmother." Oh, and "¿Como estás, el baño?" which means, "How are you, the bathroom?" It is also funny every time.
3 - The guy ends the video by saying, "Au revoir."
4 - I never took Spanish (not even one semester), but people I know who have taken Spanish classes don't know much more than the phrases this guy sings.
5 - By the end of the video, the guy's nipple kinda sneaks out of his very loosely buttoned shirt.

If you need more reasons than that (and there are plenty of reasons beyond those 5), you're sense of humor is broken and I can do nothing for you. Hope you liked the video!

Kinda embarrassed

As you can see, I've updated my blog layout. It's cool, huh? But that's not why I'm embarrassed.

While changing my layout, I also looked at some of my old posts and found multiple spelling and grammar errors. Because I majored in English and because I went off on proper use of the English language once on my blog, I feel like I'm held at a higher standard... well, turns out I'm human and make mistakes, even in writing. Forgive me?

Future rock star!

Yesterday was McKay's birthday (happy birthday, the-K!) and tonight my family had a little surprise birthday party for him. We fooled him into thinking it was just dinner at Jared and Liz's place, but we had pie, lasagna, and made him bring Rock Band. If you've never played, you really should. It's a great time. But the best of all was my niece rockin' on the drums. She's usually on the beat, too! It's just too cute to not share, so here are a few videos I took.