Conozco Erik Estrada

Some of you may remember this post from a while back. Well, this morning, one of my friends posted some of the lyrics to the "One Semester of Spanish, Spanish Love Song" so I had to go watch the video again, and of course, it was still pretty dang funny. Then I read the comments on the video, and it turns out there is a song for the second semester. And while this isn't super holiday oriented (although there is a line "Feliz Navidad con Erik Estrada"), it's still pretty funny. I know lots of folks liked the first, so here's the second!




And Kudos to Erik Estrada for being a part of this. :)

Mikey laughs

While we were at the Verizon store waiting for Hayley's phone to get fixed, I stared laughing at Mikey, and he laughed back! Hayley came over to watch, and was smart enough to ask for my phone so she could take some video. The video quality isn't great, and you'll need to make sure you're speakers are up, but here are a couple videos of Mikey laughing. Hope you enjoy as much as I did!

CityDeals is kinda nice

If you're thinking about getting gift cards for people for Christmas, you should try CityDeals. We just got an awesome one for Simply Sushi--we paid $11 for a $25 gift card. Seriously, you should check it out. (And if you click the links in this post, I'll get some kind of referral rewards. That'd be a nice Christmas present from you to me. Just sayin'.)

--UPDATE--Dear family: there is a CityDeal for Rodizio. You can buy a $25 gift card for $20. I know it's not super great, but hey, buy two and save ten bucks on our brother-sister Christmas dinner. Just click on one of the links above (or this link), and type "Rodizio" in the field where it says "All Categories."

Surviving the zombie apocalypse

So the blizzard coming has got everyone all riled up. Not unnecessarily so, but there is definitely a lot of talk about it--ok, mostly lots on the news and on facebook, but what else is there?

The blizzard had Hayley worried, and again, rightly so. At one point today, she even said to me something like, "I'm getting ready for the blizzard to come, and to live like I Am Legend is real!" Which made me laugh and say something snarky like, "Yes, we should definitely prepare for the zombie apocalypse!" Which lead to various facebook statuses and comments, and now this blog post (Hayley is also doing a post, but I'm not going to read it until I've written mine, just to keep our opinions unaffected.)

So I give you, How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse (with comments on what my zombie survival rules really mean)

1. Make sure you have plenty of food (With Thanksgiving coming, Mikey is still not able to travel very far in a car without screaming his guts out, so we're not going to be able to travel to Richfield with my family. Instead, we're going to crash the Williams's Thanksgiving and have it with Hayley's sister's family. And we're bringing a couple food items, so Hayley had to get them before the storm came in.)
2. Prepare for power outages (Hayley did so by doing 4 loads of laundry, doing the dishes, and vacuuming the floors. Because if we don't have power, we'll still need clothes, dishes, and clean floors.)
3. Make sure your car has gas -- you may need to make a quick escape, and full tank will ensure you get where you're going (In case we lost power and heat, and needed to get somewhere where there is heat [family or friends around], we needed a full tank. Hayley went to get it before the storm came in, to be safe. Oh, as an added bonus, she mentioned if we lost power, we could put our frozen goods outside to keep them frozen. She thinks of everything!)
4. Board up your windows! You don't want the zombies getting in (We actually got some of those plastic, shrink-wrap window insulators for Mikey's room, because it is the coldest in the house. The windows are drafty, and we now don't have to worry that he catches his death in his own room at night.)
5. Make sure you have a year supply of candles and batteries (Hayley got a little worried that if we lost power, we didn't have any candles because we have Scentsy. I reminded her that I still had a zillion votives from when I proposed. We have a couple flashlights and plenty of batteries. After we had been talking about zombies for a while, she told me she picked up a year supply.)
6. In case of power outages, make sure you have a method for cooking food (After letting me know we could put our frozen goods out on the lawn, Hayley said we could bring the grill inside and cook with that if need be. And she even picked out a place in the kitchen where we'd put it, because on the carpet just would not do.)
7. Check in on your friends (Hayely kept calling and checking on a few friends that are travelling today and tomorrow. She kept saying to one in particular, "Why am I so worried about you! Just be safe, ok?" 

And that should do ya. Well, if it's the ACTUAL zombie apocalypse, you'll need a shotgun and plenty of shells, too. But these seven rules should keep you safe.

Love you, Hayley. :)

Have you read more than 6 of these books?

I totally stole this from someone on facbook. I don't know if the BBC actually put this list together, but I was very intrigued. I also know that many of my friends are book readers, so I wanted to know if my theory that most of you have read more than 6 of these books is true. So please do this yourself, because I mostly posted it because I'm curious about you, dear reader. Let's call it a competition. Whoever has the most books read gets a prize! Maybe this is my first prize give-away... hmmm...

Anyway, if you do repost on a blog or facebook or something, leave a comment and let me know. If you don't, just take count of how many books you've read and leave a comment. Seriously. I'm interested.

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

Instructions: Copy this list. Bold those books you've read in their entirety; italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or just read an excerpt. Tag other book nerds. Tag me as well so I can see your responses!

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 The Divine Comedy
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Posession -- AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

My final count: 22 read, 9 started but not finished. How did you do?

Not looking forward to my business trip next week

Mikey says hi

Shots

Poor Mikey. He got shots on the day he turned two months old.

Even though it was the saddest thing in the world, I wanted to get a picture of his giant tear. Poor guy.

Luckily, he only showed signs of discomfort the day of the shots, and he slept pretty good that night. The next day, he had two little red spots (even though there were three shots), but no apparent tenderness or fussiness. Such a tough guy!

Herbs and friendship

Ok, so this morning, Hayley and I were going to go to Red Rooster Waffle Company, because we had a gift card. We got there an hour after the place was supposed to be open, but there were no signs of life inside; all the chairs were on the tables, no lights, and the doors were locked. Crap-a-la-crap-fest... And since we were out for breakfast already, we decided to go to IHOP...

While we were at IHOP, we had the wonderful experience of sitting next to two older, single women. I didn't WANT to eve's drop, but suddenly I hear the older woman say something about a group she gets together, and how sometimes they just talk about herbs, sometimes about friendship, and how it's casual and fun. Of course, I wanted to blog about it, so I wrote down the title of this post on a sugar packet so I wouldn't forget. Hayley asked what I wrote, and before showing it to her, I warned her with a very intense look not to say it out loud. We both kind of smiled at each other and suddenly, we were given a special peak into the lives of these two women.

The not-older-one started talking about a book she was reading, and how it made her think of the older woman's group, and so she started reading a passage. I wasn't snoopy enough to find out the name of the book, but the passage had something to do with how the women of her time were brainwashed by Disney tales like Snow White, because if the mirror had just told the wicked step mother something like, "Who cares who the fairest is, you're great, you're confident and strong, you're great at sorcery, so why bother with comparing yourself to other women!?" then Snow White would have grown up with a strong mother figure, not had to rely on her looks alone, and little girls everywhere would be more confident.

While I agree with women being strong, self-reliant, and having strong female authority figures, this conversation went into how great "The Secret" is (a huge load of crap, in my opinion), how powerful herbs are, the wonders of the feminine mystique, and the value of wearing crystals. (Ok, the crystals wasn't true, but I would not have been shocked to hear it.) All this seemed very funny, and something I would associate with the IHOP crew. Then I looked around.

There was a table of construction workers, one with denim shorts he had rolled up, another table where a woman with a femullet and her husband were ordering vegetarian omelets with holandaise sauce on the side, a large family of hispanic folks, and there we were, un-showered, me with my pretend beard, and our little guy in pajamas. My thought was, "These are my people." We're all a little scruffy, weird, and tired, but we want someone else to make our breakfast today, dangit. It was a funny little setting.

Oh, and don't worry, we kept eve's dropping so bad that Hayley and I had to force ourselves to talk to each other. Great breakfast.

...yeah, that was short-lived

I shaved off the beard today. I just couldn't get past the super itchy, irritated stage. I've tried it before with the same results. I should just remember how much it hurts. And you can tell that a battle was waged between my razor and my stubble, leaving the terrain of my neck meat looking like a scarred, old battle ground. But I do feel better now that it's gone. I'm sure I'll give it another go in three or five years... I'm kinda smart like that.

Bullets

I haven't posted in a while, so here is a bulleted list of things crossing my mind lately.

• Mikey was 8 weeks old on November 6th, 60 days old on November 9th, and 2 months old on November 11th. Aren't 8 weeks, 60 days, and 2 months all supposed to be the same thing?
• Mikey keeps changing. Every now and then, I'll really notice it. I'm excited to find out how much he's grown after his 2 month check-up today.
• I really love Hayley.
• We haven't been to a movie in so long, I don't even remember what the last one was. It was before Mikey was born, but probably weeks or months before that, even. That's a long time for movie lovers not to see a movie. Thank goodness for NetFlix! (I'm fairly certain we'll be in the theater for the new Harry Potter movie, however.)
• We finally got all of our leftovers eaten. We had lots of soup, salad, sandwiches, cake, jambalaya, and more for a while. I get a little sad when we waste good food. After last night, we now  have a pan of enchiladas as leftovers. I'm excited for those.
• Thanks to my friend, Jason, I'm going to try to be thankful. But you don't get to know what I'm thankful for until Thanksgiving day. The rules were to keep track of one thing I am thankful for starting on October 31 all the way to Thanksgiving day. I may not write something every day, but I'll have enough items for each day.
• I might be growing a beard. I've never done that. Partly because it itches my face off, and partly because I have not been able to do so. I still have tiny little spots where the mustache doesn't really meet up with my chin scruff, but I might see how this goes. For a little while, anyway.
• I often want to blog, but don't.
• I'm watching Avatar tonight (right now, actually) with Hayley.

Grunty McGrunterson

That is Mikey's nick-name of choice around here. When he's not Mikey or Little Dude. Other choice nick-names include:

• Pouty McPouterson
• Poopy McPooperson
• Tooty McTooterson
• Farty McFarterson (the more crude version of T. McT.)
• Funky McFunkerson (well, mostly that just happened one time, while we were talking about his nick-names.)
• Monkey McButterson (Thanks, Holly. Based off this post by Hayley.)
• Lovey
• Emo Burrito

But mostly Grunty McGrunterson. Because he really works on it when he needs to get his diaper filled.

Whachawdano

This is pretty great.



Apparently there are more videos from these guys. Some about texting and driving, free WiFi spots, and even Linux. But go check those yourself. I only have so many labels for my posts.

Emo Burrito

Ok, so this post is going to need some background... And I would like to know everyone's opinion on something here. Please leave comments.

First, Hayley and I got Rock Band for our wedding. When playing rock band, you have to pick a band name. It gives some auto-generated band names, and the first one to come up was Emo Burrito. We liked it. We would say we needed to have band practice. We would talk about Emo Burrito like it was actually our band.

Flash forward to now, when we have a little baby boy. He was born in September, and we're trying to think of a costume for him. He has a little shirt that says, "Boo!" on it, and we thought maybe we'd just put him in that. We could make it a family thing, and get (or possibly make) other T-shirts that say, "Rawr!" or "Eeek!" or something. He also has a cute little Halloween sleeper that could work. Not real costumes, but hey, he's a baby. he won't really remember Halloween and just a shirt or sleeper would be easy.

But then one day, I was swaddling him up because, you know, he's so tiny! And everyone knows newborns like to be swaddled. They look like little, wrapped up burritos. Because of our Rock Band band, I often call him our little emo burrito when he's all swaddled. Then it hit me--that could be his costume! We could get a blanket with some emo band like The All American Rejects, or Coheed and Cambria or something,  and find a tiny wig to style all emo-like for him! If the blanket doesn't work out, maybe some weird, onesie from Hot Topic, and just a black blanket. And maybe even put ace bandages on his wrists with a little red stain on them. Black eye liner is out, sure, but he could be a little Emo Burrito mascot!

Is that even funny? Am I the only one that thinks so? Would anyone even get it? Would we look like horrible people if we dressed up our seven-week-old baby in an Emo outfit, complete with ace bandages alluding to him having cut himself? Should we just stick with traditional? Or maybe even his "Boo!" shirt?

Please share your thoughts. And don't hold back. Tell me I'm a moron if dressing my baby as an emo kid isn't funny.

What the snarf?

This is an actual conversation Hayley and I had, while wrapping Mikey up and getting ready to go on a walk:

Garrett: Should I wrap him up real good, or just put the blanket around him?
Hayley: Just put the blanket around him... [Garrett proceeds to wrap the baby up] don't snarf him.
G: Uh... ok.
H:... You know what I mean... what word am I thinking?
G: I have no idea what you're even talking about. [both start laughing] He's snarffed up real good, though.
H: [can barely keep her pee in, she's laughing so hard]
G: [to Mikey] You're mom's gone snarffin' mad!
H: [now trying to hold the pee in, by bracing herself on the counter and squatting a little]

Cutest video ever

Hayley already posted this, but I assume I have a couple readers that don't also read her blog, and this HAD to be shared. More baby Mikey. Enjoy.

Some baby stuff

Hayley has done a great job of posting pictures and things. And she started a blog to keep up on Mikey's project life thinger (I added a link there to the right if you're interested). While I don't have photos to add, here are a few baby things going on for me.

• Mikey's little cry is cute to me. His screamer cry is sad.
• We weren't prepared for him to not be a giant. We have billions of clothes for him, once he gains a few pounds, but for now, we're doing laundry all the time.
• I'm pretty good at changing a diaper, I think...
• I'm even better at swaddling.
• When Mikey is really upset, if you lift him strait up high a couple times, he seems to like that and calms down.
• I am having all sorts of paternal instincts. Sometimes, I dream I'm holding him, and when I wake up cradling my pillows under my face, I get a nervous jolt that I'm using him as a pillow.
• I have also had some pretty  crazy and graphic dreams where he was seriously hurt. In on of those dreams, I beat a man bloody and I think I killed him... I'm not a violent person usually, but this guy seriously hurt my baby boy and even in my dream I couldn't stop myself.
• I like to hold him when he sleeps. I should probably let him sleep in his bed--and I usually do--but it's fun to hold him.
• I like to watch Hayley hold him. It's nice just looking at the two of them.
• I like looking into his little eyes. He lifts his head up and looks around A LOT. I wonder what in the world he could be thinking. "do you dream about Jesus or quantum mechanics or angels who sing lullabies?"
• Hayley is the best. I am getting pretty good sleep. But I do try to help out when I know she just needs an hour or two to stay sane.
• We're pretty happy around here.

There ya go. Maybe the next one I'll post pictures. But for now, try Hayley's blog and Project Mikey.

Quck baby update

This is the email I sent to my manager this morning. I have been trying to figure out when I would have time to blog, but sleep and baby visits are taking precident over most other activities. While writing this email, though, I thought it would be a perfect little update to the folks that read my blog. So here goes (with a few additions and changes for the blogging community):

After trying to write a brief summary, I realized you might be too busy to read the whole thing. Brevity seems to be a thing I lack when writing about my baby boy, or when writing at 3:00 a.m. on very little sleep. In case you do want to read the whole thing, both the short version and long version of the last few days’ events are included.

The short version:

• Mom is good and recovering from c-section
• Baby is ok, in ICU, weaning off an IV and antibiotics before we can take him home
• He had a scary ambulance ride to a children’s hospital to take a dye test, which ruled out any bad problems (thank goodness!!)
• I’m quite tired, and not going to do much by way of work today or tomorrow

The long version:

Baby Michael is here, but there have been a few little scares. When he was first born, he went to the NICU because he had a little cough that indicated he was working harder than normal to get his lungs open. Almost as soon as they hooked up the monitors, he didn’t have the cough anymore, so only had to stay there about an hour. Later, however, he spit up some green, mucus-y stuff, which worried the doctors, and they wanted to do a dye test to check his GI track. The hospital we are at didn’t have anyone who could perform this test on him here (those that could had clocked out for the weekend), so he had to be transferred to Primary Children’s Hospital. I followed the ambulance there, and my poor wife stayed behind because she was still recovering from the C-section.

Luckily, the worst problems were ruled out (of course I can’t remember the names of anything… but it had to do with twisted intestines and so forth... started with a V... volvulous or something similar), and it looks like he has some reflux, and his stomach takes a long time to pass its contents on to the intestine. They transferred him back to our hospital and now have the little guy on an IV (which is now attached to a vein on his head—more scary looking than bad. The nurses were quick to tell us it was a normal place for an IV because babies tend to grab, wiggle, and pull out IVs in hands and legs), and we are trying to wean him off of it so his mom can just feed him. Also unfortunately, he is going to be on a series of antibiotics, so he’ll be here probably a day longer than mom. (UPDATE: The doc said this morning that because Hayley had a C section and the baby is in the ICU, there is no rush to get her out of here and will probably have her stay until Wednesday. We may get to take him home with us after all!)

So instead of having him come to the room every three hours to try to feed, we head down to the NICU, mom feeds him, he takes a little formula, and if he does a good job, they lower the IV dosage and we get closer to taking the little rascal home! Otherwise, his vitals are excellent and if the green puke never happened, he might still be upstairs with us rather than in the NICU, but we’re glad the reflux was caught and the larger intestinal problems were ruled out.

Just wanted to give you a heads up on things. I’m just getting back from his 2:00 a.m. feeding and thought I’d better drop a line. I’ll probably not do much work-related activity today. We’ll keep working on getting this kid off the IV and back upstairs in mom’s room.

Thanks for your understanding! And I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense entirely… Those first few days only allowed for about 4 hours of total sleep…

And finally, while it is probably cheesy to send pictures of my baby to my manager, he’s so stinkin’ adorable it’s hard not to share at least the one where he’s sticking his tongue out! He’s about 30 minutes old in that picture. :)

You know you're an English major when...

This web commic cracks you up:

I guess it also helps that I really liked crashing cars in Grand Theft Auto 3 in college. My roommate had an Xbox.
(poll for comment posters: should I add a new "you know you're an English major when..." category to my blog? Sorta like I've got my quick tips? These would be much less frequent than the quick tips, but could be fun. I'll leave it up to you, my reader-folk, to decide.)

Doesn't everyone know like 30 realtors?

Just very quickly, I can think of three. And that's with my pregnancy brain. But seriously, doesn't everyone know at least one Realtor? I can't imagine that cold calling actually works in the world of real estate...

Well, apparently our phone number has finally gotten on some list that Realtors can buy for cold calling. And I'm COMPLETELY sick of it. Because they're suddenly calling a zillion times a day. No, really, there have been 12 calls from Realtors in one day, from 7 to 5. Half of them ask for Mr. Jones, another half ask if Hayley Jones lives here (I always say no), and the other half (...add that up...) are confused when I answer, "This is Garrett." because this number is my home office line. And I'm annoyed, because it IS my home office line, and I don't need the constant interruptions, especially when I'm about to make my third conference call of the day!

I put our number on the DNC registry now, so don't worry. But in the interim, it's going to be annoying, getting all these calls. Anyone got any funny ways I can answer when a Realtor calls me? I'm all for messing with cold callers.

Quick tip No. 8

If you happen to see these at a Japanese restaurant:

realize they are NOT salt and pepper, but--in fact--soy sauce containers. And you probably shouldn't double check by pouring the contents out into your wife's hand. Just before the waiter arrives to ask if you're ready to order.

right round, right round, right round....... right round.

I have a habit of making posts last too long, so I'm going to try to keep this short...

While Hayley was putting lotion on her belly this morning, she made very wide and roundy motions, and said, "I wonder if this makes the baby dizzy." I chuckled, but then she starts singing the chorus of the song, "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" but with her own little twist. No other words but right round. So according to Hayley, the chorus goes, "You spin me right round, right round, right round, right round... right round.... right round...."

When I started laughing, she thought it was for the late couple of "right rounds" she did, so she says, "What? I didn't know how many 'right rounds' there were!" To which, I laughed even more, and when I could talk, I said, "Right. and no 'baby' or 'like a record' at all either, huh?" To which she responded with more laughter.

She's funny. And even funnier with the pregnancy forgetfulness. It really makes me smile a lot.

And for your viewing pleasure, here is the actual music video! Which is quite awful as far as music videos go, but I had to play the song for her after we stopped laughing about the "right round, right round, right round..." and so forth. And yes, I changed the words when I sang to Hayley's new and improved chorus. Enjoy!

All the internet has to offer

I've done something like this once before. but with the lovely world of RSS feeds, I can make wasting time on the internet even easier for myself! The below mentioned are websites that I check out via google reader. You don't have to do the same, but I think they're fun. All of them may or may not have naughty language, so if you have kids in the room, review the sites before sharing.

• Fail Blog - some of these aren't so funny, but it's fun to have something in your reader. Lots of crazy people out there, I tell you what.
• PostSecret - updated every Sunday morning. You should really check it out.
• Found Cameras and Orphan Pictures - Not updated often, but if someone loses a camera, memory card, or photos, they can send a couple pictures to this blog, and maybe even reunite them with their owner.
• Passive-Aggressive (and Just Plain Offensive) Notes - featuring all sorts of roommate squabbles, lived out through post-its on the fridge. And other things.
• Stuff White People Like - this one hasn't been updated in quite some time. But it's funny little quips about the most stereotypical white culture.
• Boy On A Stick And Slither - Awesome web comic. One of my favorites. Hasn't been updated since March. There used to be one like every couple days. Makes me sad.
• Best of Craigslist - a recent find. Sorta funny. Not updated frequently. I might stop reading this one.
• Lamebook - makes all sorts of fun of facebook. Updated frequently. Like multiple times every day.
• Toothpaste For Dinner - Web comic. Poorly drawn (on purpose), satirical, with the option to buy T-shirts. Updated daily (or at least week daily...).
• There, I Fixed It - redneck repairs. Including turning one of those super old exercise bikes into an elliptical machine made of 2x4s. Awesome.
• Words to Shoot By - not so much funny as interesting. Photographers are given a word, and they take three photos based on the word. My friend, Robin, participates and is why I subscribe. One day, I hope to actually take decent photos. Not photographer quality, mind you, but just decent. Not back-lit or blurry.
• Awkward Family Photos - ...doesn't really need an explanation.
• xkcd.com - a web comic that uses stick figures. It's awesome "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language" is the subtitle. One of the best parts of this web comic is the alt tag text. Leave your mouse on the image, and read the text that comes up. It really adds to the humor of the comic.

So there ya go. That's what I'm doing when I'm not reading all ya'll's blogs. What do you read on the interwebs a'la RSS feed?

Quick tip No. 7

If you are in customer service in India, China, or some place NOT in the United States, don't pretend your name is "John" or "Sally" when it's really Habib, or Anaoulaivika.

Seriously. I was chatting with the Comcast service rep online today, and this is a copy & paste of what she said to me: "Garrett, do you have other phone that maybe replace to the phone that is not having such no dialtone?"

Right. And you expect me to belive your name is Regina?

Baby's first hic-ups!

So today, Hayley stopped me dead in my tracks and said, "I think the baby has hic-ups..." I stopped and watched her belly, and sure enough, you could even SEE the little rhythmic bumps he was making! It made me just want to squeeze him!

In addition to that, I wanted to share some videos. If you don't watch all of them, I won't feel bad. It may not be as cool to you as it is to me. But these videos are from the ultrasound when we found out that Mikey was a boy. Way back in February April, yes, but oh well. They're also not the greatest videos, but you can still see what's going on.

This first one shows his little profile. In the real video, you can see better that the little roundish spot above his head is his little fist.


This one shows his face, heart rate, and some measurements of his head.


This one shows his boy bits. It's at about 30 seconds that they make their debut... seems kinda weird that I'm telling you where to go to see that, but there it is... The video also shows some measurements of his legs and stuff, including another profile shot with ribs and spine.


And finally, just some last looks at the little guy. This one is only like 30 seconds long.


 And that's our baby boy! Can't wait to see him in real life!

Hayley's actual words to me this morning:

"For the record, I don't think your poops are super stinky..."

And those are words from a pregnant girl who can smell rain coming a day before anyone else, and can smell the neighbor's burned caserole. Just sayin'. :)

Quick tip No. 6

If you go on a grammar rant online, make certain you double check your spelling on anything you post after said rant for two weeks at the very least.

Quick tip No. 5

If you're used to using two regular sized pillows and get new king-sized pillows, you probably only need one.

Time to brag up my Hayley girl

If you didn't know, Hayley is going to have a baby. Yeah, that's right. But with that, we are lucky enough that she will get to stay home with our baby boy when he gets here! That means this is her last year of teaching. After nine years of teaching. Hayley doesn't like to talk herself up as a teacher, but she's awesome at it. Just to give you an idea, here are a few things that have happened this week.

• The principal cried when she turned in her  letter of resignation. The principal even knew she was quitting, but once it came time to actually give the notice that she wouldn't be back, the principal cried. She's that good. She's going to be a huge asset lost.
• One family told Hayley they were postponing moving because they wanted their youngest kid to have her as a teacher. Their kid is in kindergarten this year. That means they were waiting at least two years in a place they don't like (they apparently hate where they live), just to have Hayley be their kid's teacher.
• Another lady said they had to pray about it to come to peace with the idea that their next kid wouldn't be in Hayley's class. They know know it's what will be best for her, her baby, and her family... uh, thanks for the extra witness, but we already knew that. But how sweet is that? They really like her. It was devastating that she wouldn't be their kid's teacher.

There are more things that I don't know of, or that aren't big enough for a bullet, but there are lots of comments like "we'll miss you," and "I can't believe you're leaving," and "what will we do without you," and "our kids will never have as good a teacher as you."

And I know how good she is and how much everyone loves her. I know how great she is with kids, what a good teacher she is, and all that. I am so grateful. I am so lucky to never have to say anything like that. My kids will always get to have her as a teacher. And even better, they'll have her as a mom. Hayley, I know you're looking forward to being done with school, but I also know it's hard, too. I'm so glad you get to stay home with our little guy, and I'll be forever grateful that you have chosen to do so. I love you, Hayley girl!

Obama = Frodo... and not in a good way.

If you didn't see it when I posted on Facebook, check this out. First, I'd like to say that I'm not an Obama hater. I just don't think there is ANYONE in politics that is worth anything, regardless of political party. I know people that voted for Obama solely because he was going to close down Guantanamo Bay, or end the war... Well, if Bush was a liar about WMD, or the "We've won the war" fiasco, then Obama should answer for his BS, too.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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And yes, I know Jon Stewart with The Daily Show may not be the source I should go to for information, but Mr. Stewart IS an Obama supporter. It goes to show even more why I can't get involved in politics... all the lies, deceit, strives for power... and that's the sad part. I guess with my disappointment in the President is just more disappointment in myself for not caring and not doing much about it...

Mr. Fix-it...

Sorta. I mean, I mostly just followed the instructions...

Note: this post is somewhat interactive. To get the full story and picture (and actual pictures, for that matter), you will want to follow the links. You don't have to--I'm not bossing you or anything--but it will make your reading experience more complete. That's all. Oh, and the pictures I took aren't super great. Deal with it.

Lately, we have been making a few changes, getting ready for the furniture that we bought. With the new bed, we're going to move out the dressers and make room for my desk and a filing cabinet. With the couch and dining room table, we are going to make room for another desk for Hayley. This, in turn, frees up the second bedroom to be the baby's room. Which will eventually get a crib, probably a rocker, and a changing table. The thing is, we didn't have all of these items ready to go, or in the queue to be delivered.

So this last week, I made some stuff. I put together our filing cabinet. It wasn't too bad. Just followed the directions.

And I put together Hayley's desk. This task was a little more tricky because it had more involved more pieces, but it wasn't too bad. There was one incident with a non-cooperating drawer, and a final incident where the last two screws didn't want to fit, but some trial and error and a drill worked that out.

On top of making those two furniture items from the boxes, Hayley, Jared (who blogs less than I do), and I made a DVD shelf. The thing is, with all the changes in the living room, we don't really have room for the tower-type DVD stands. Or better said, we don't want to waste precious floor space on DVD towers. On top of that, the towers we have don't do so well on the super plush carpet we have now--they want to tip over all the time. Anyway, Hayley drew up some plans (that's right, she just drew up plans for a two level DVD shelf. She's THAT awesome.), we bought some lumber, brought it to Jared's to cut it to the right lengths, then Jared and I put it together, and I stained it.

It still needs some final touches (one more coat of stain and a back--that will need to be stained), and it's done. Then our DVDs will sit nicely on top of the entertainment center.

Upcoming projects will include moving old furniture to Mom and Dad's to be stored, painting and putting together the crib, and possibly putting together a rocking chair and changing table. Oh, and I'm also going to fix the droopy side of our entertainment center.

It sorta looks like it had palsy on one side or something...

So that's that! What have you been up to lately?

Do you think they have rainbows in other states?

A girl actually said this to me today. Or an iteration of this. Let me tell the whole story.

so I have been getting my hair cut at SuperCuts. Mostly because I don't like paying for hair cuts, so I want to go to cheap places. This has bitten me in the butt a lot lately. I used to only get hair cuts like once every six months, but now I'm respectable and get one every month. Or two. Anyway, I digress.

So I went to SuperCuts for my monthly hair cut, and I have mentioned to Hayley I don't like getting my hair cut there. I don't like the forced small talk. And I don't mean any offense, but most of the girls that work there are not too bright. The forced conversation is less than stimulating. But today I tried. The girl talked to me and I was cordial. She asked if I liked the weather we were having and I said yes, except when it storms like it did yesterday. Then she asked if I saw the rainbow. I did, and said it was pretty vivid. And then the magic happens. I can't do it justice describing it, so as well as I can remember, the conversation goes like this:

Hair cut girl: How do rainbows even happen anyway?
Me: [too flabbergasted to give actual responses anymore] I don't know. [Light refracting off of water droplets in the air, you idiot... seriously? Did you miss out on second grade?]
Hair cut girl: I mean, is it like light reflecting off a puddle or something? Like in the air?
Me: [.......really?] ...huh....
Hair cut girl: They don't get them like that in other states, right? I mean, like it's only in our valley, right? Like, we're the only ones that get rainbows like that.
Me: [...........?!!!???] I don't know.
Hair cut girl: ...yeah...

And there you have it. I stopped talking to her and could not WAIT to get out of the chair to tell Hayley. Not only due to this conversation, but the fact that three out of three cheap hair cut places I have been to don't know how to cut hair, I think I'm finally going to give in and go to Hayley's hair cut girl. I guess you get what you pay for. In hair cuts and conversation.

It was a good run, Ted

So they canceled Better Off Ted. I hate that. As soon as Hayley told me about it, I let out a long, sad, "Nooooooooo!!!" It was one of the best shows on TV. It made me laugh out loud multiple times, every episode. I just wish more people watched it. Read about the cancellation here. It's a damn shame.

I was going to put a few clips here, but it makes me too sad to watch through the clips. Just go to Youtube and do a search for Better Off Ted. Seriously. Just do it.  (Or just click on the Better Off Ted links throughout this post. They're still playing clips there.) Thank goodness we've got Netflix now so I can watch the two short seasons over and over again.

Best. Wife. Ever.

Hayley's pretty awesome. But she just proved it yet again to me the other night. We finally got to Target to run a few errands we've been planning to do for a long time, and while walking around the store, we ran into some orange towels. I smiled at them, but we walked past. Later, we ran into a sweet orange trash can, and it had matching soap dispenser, tooth brush holder, and a little bowl for cotton balls and stuff. I was a big fan. And Hayley, seeing how much I liked the items, suggested we get them and make our bathroom orange. Now, I want the record to show that I didn't push this. She wanted to do this for me. And while we were talking about it, she even meant the bathroom in our room. How freakin' nice is that? I don't think the orange would have gone as well with our neutral browns in the bedroom, and I was thinking the guest bathroom anyway. So we agreed on changing the other bathroom. She's the best! Do you follow? I just got an orange bathroom!

So without further ado, here are the before and after photos. This is also my first attempt to use Picnik.

This next one shows the shower curtain better. I didn't do so well with the "after" shot of it above.

Pretty cool, huh? I'm freakin' stoked. It's all so orange! If you know me at all, that's a pretty awesome bathroom in my eyes. Thanks for indulging me, Hayley!

Room for rent

Hiya folks. So I've got a condo that needs some decent people to live in it. The place is three bedrooms, two bath, ground floor, free cable, close to the pool and laundromat. We would like to find good renters from people we know or referrals from people we know. That way, the place won't be trashed, and we'll all have a relatively good experience. Please, ask your friends and family. If they're looking for a place to rent, please point them my direction. Leave a comment and I'll get you the details.

Here's hopin' this interwebs works for us!

Side effects of the new job

• I am not shaving as often. This is probably not great. It makes my sensitive skin all the more irritated when I do shave. But working at home means I don't have to shave because the boss doesn't really see me...
• I feel like a tech geek. I now have a phone, an iPod touch, and a BlackBerry that I cary around all the time. Gets a little bulky. 
• I have a SkyMiles account. It's not building up as fast as some of my coworkers, but someday I might get a free airline ticket out of it.
• I eat lunch from home most days. This isn't new, but it is kinda fun to watch a TV show during lunch on my couch at home, and I don't have to work out drive time nto my lunch break. That, or I just eat at my desk.
• I don't fill my car with gas as often. That's also because I don't drive my car much. Because Hayley is still working (back on track today. Sorry, babe.), I don't park in the driveway so she can get her car out in the morning. That means when we go anywhere together, we usually take her car beause it's in the driveway.
• My sleep is ridden with stuff from work. I don't love that, but I'm sure it'll stop. Once I sorta get the hang of things. I hope that's sooner than later.
• I don't check my personal email, facebook, write blog posts, comment on blogs, or do much else on the internet. I spend enough time on a computer these days, I just don't want to spend more. So sorry if I haven't been very accessible lately. I'll try harder. Maybe.

There, a new blog post for you. Can't say I'll pick up on blogging much, but I'll try.

Chicago Day 1

We arrived safe and sound in Chicago last night. This morning started with me helping get the network up and running with Mike and Marleen's new laptop. There was one point that I wasn't sure if I had ruined everything or not, but after a few pokes and prods, the network worked the way I told it to, and everyhing is good. As soon as the new desktop arrives next week, setup should be smooth and easy.

After the network was taken care of, breakfast eaten, and showers taken, we went to see all of the schools where Hayley went. There was some confusion on whether or not she went straight to high school after elementary, but as it turns out, she did it in order just like the rest of us. (Just kidding... we went to see her elementary, then the high school, THEN the junior high.) And her junior high doesn't look anything like it used to. It was cool to see all her schools. I kept smiling.

For lunch, we went to Portillo's and MAN was that good! New York dogs have NOTHING on a Chicago dog. At Portillo's, we took our first Chicago pictures. Take a look:

Mike and Marleen. We got some cheese sauce for the fries, and Marleen's salad looked mighty tasty!

This is me and Hayley enjoying lunch. Check out that hot dog. It had ketchup, mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, and a giant pickle spear on it.

That's the day so far. I am very excited to be here! Everything just makes me smile. I think it's because I'm finally experiencing Hayley's town with her as my guide. I'm enjoying every minute!

I can't promise I'll blog every day, but I'll do my best.

Happy Brithday, Hayley Girl!

How do you tell the person you care about most in the whole world how much you love her? How do you find the right words? Even if you like words, and even like putting words into legible and concise sentences, how do you find the right thing to say--or write? That's how I feel when I try to verbalize what I feel for Hayley. She is the most important person in the world to me and means so much to me.

Today is her birthday. Happy Birthday, Hayley! We're playing it pretty low key this year, but we're headed to her home town the end of this week, where we'll be sure to live it up. I can't wait to see all the places she grew up, meet the old friends, and get to see firsthand the people and places that were part of her formative years. In no particular older, can't wait to see William Fremd, walk down "the RIGHT terminal in the RIGHT airport," watch Robin Hood and The Fugitive, have root beer floats, eat at Ed's, Lou's, and countless other places. But mostly I can't wait to be there with her.

Hayley, you're my best friend. I love you so much and I want you to be the happiest girl in the world. I hope you have the best birthday ever! Love you!!

"Tonight's not the night to ride my ass, buddy..."

Those were some of my final remarks from tonight. Let me explain.

First, I think I'm a fairly easy going guy. I don't get mad at too much, and I think I'm pretty patient with crappy service. Even crappy waiters. I'm not known to talk to the manager, have my food sent back, or things like that. But tonight was a little out of hand.

The waiter took forever to actually get to us, and when he did, he said he'd be with us in a couple seconds. Which turned into 5 more minutes. When he finally got to us, we were not really appreciative of his description of his favorite wine carried by the restaurant.When all he took were our drink orders, I had to stop him and let him know we were ready to order.

We ordered dipping sauce with our meal. I think ordering dipping sauce is indicative of people who like bread sticks, right? Well, he brought out our salad and no bread sticks. We waited forever. When the bread sticks and sauce finally came, he brought three, which were gone pretty quickly. We waited some more. When he finally got around to filling our water, he still didn't refill the bread. In the mean time while we waited, the dipping sauce got cold. Then the food arrived, brought in by a different server. We ate a couple bites, but waited for our waiter to show up with bread to finish our dipping sauce. The bread refill came with two more bread sticks, for a total of five. Five? Do you think people who order dipping sauce only want to share five bread sticks between them? Those were gone pretty quickly, too.

Now, I'm not claiming that I'm dainty. I'm a big guy. I like food. But I'm not a pain in the ass about it. I don't think even skinny people going to a pasta joint think two baskets of bread should equal five bread sticks. At this point, we were not enjoying our meal, hated the waiter, got sick of seeing him chat it up with other waiters while he ignored us, and watch people who were seated after us get better treatment. so we talked to the manager. She was nice, we explained our service and how disappointing it was, we offered to just pay so we could leave, but she comped our meal. Which was mostly sitting on the table anyway, so I guess it was fair...

Again, I don't usually do this kinda stuff. Neither does Hayley. We're pretty easy to please. If the guy had even said sorry for the wait, it would have smoothed things over some. Or if he had the sense to bring more than three bread sticks at a time to people who pay for dipping sauce. But all that, added on top of the neglect and wait time, and it was too much. I mean, if your job is to serve people, and your pay is based off how good a job you do at serving, wouldn't you want to make sure you did a good job?

After reading this, am I being a little too demanding? I say again, I don't normally do this. If the service is bad, I usually just suck it up. I even tip pretty good. But this was nuts.

So then, after this crappy service, we left. And on the way home, some jerk starts tailgating me. I was doing about 42 in a 35. There's no need for that. And now you know why I've chosen this particular title for this blog post. And why I tapped the breaks a bit and slowed to 30.

An even bigger and more important change

Hayley kinda wants me to blog about my business trip last week, but I have something more important to write about. Well, mostly just go to that link and you'll find out all about it. I just wanted to say I'm excited and happy and really looking forward to the future right now.

My only addition to Hayley's story is that I knew it. I knew she was pregnant. I just KNEW it! I don't know why, but even when she was sad and sure she wasn't even ovulating (if ovulating is too strong a word for you, you better not read Hayley's post ;). ), I was sure everything was ok. I didn't say anything, but when she was late, I was pretty sure she was pregnant. When the first test was "negative," it didn't phase me much. When she was still late two days later, I was still pretty sure. When she told me it was negative again, I started to get bummed, but then I saw the "negative" test for myself, I was so excited! We're gonna have a baby! We're gonna be a dad and a mom? Woo hoo!

Anyway, that's my short addition to the story. We're very excited. I am certain I'm going to embarrass this kid like crazy, but I can't wait to. And when Hayley said someone may have cried at the ultrasound, well... yeah, someone may have.

A big change...

As many of you may or not know, I don't ever say the name of my employer on my blog. Part of this is because if I were to, the Mar-Comm (Marketing-Communications) Manager at my work would get a notice that a blog somewhere mentioned the company. I know the Mar-Comm Manager and, in fact, have a link to her personal blog on my blog. We're pals. But I don't care to have my blog all up in my work business. Worlds colliding, and all that. I don't tell most work people about my blog, because most of them don't need any additional glimpse into my personal life... but moving on.

The imminent big change to which this post refers deals with my employment. I'm going to be changing jobs. It's quite a big change for me in many ways. I'll be moving from a small company to a very large, international company. I will go from driving to and from the office every day to working from home. I will go from one small facet of technical writing to a wider range of writing. I'll be learning new skills on top of that, and will make myself more marketable. And they'll be paying me a bit more... That isn't everything that's great about it, but you get the idea. It is going to be a big change, and Hayley and I are very excited about it.

The reason why I mentioned everything in the first paragraph is that I plan to follow the same philosophy about mentioning the name of my employer on my blog. That is to say, I won't be mentioning the name of my employer or giving many details about work. I'll tell you in person (or via text, email, chat, whatever) a little more about it if you're interested. But here's a little clue about where I'm going.

Wish me luck!

I made apple sauce today

That's right. I just whipped up a batch of apple sauce. Ten minutes before, I didn't know I would be making it. But I'm that awesome. I can just whip up a batch of apple sauce.

That's all really.

Quick tip No. 4

Don't wear sunglasses inside.

This is for many reasons. For one, you look like you're trying to be a rockstar, and you AREN'T a rockstar. sorry. Second, when you turn the lights on in your house, you will wonder why everything seems so dark. Then you'll realize you're a moron and still have your sunglasses on.

Not so SAD anymore

Remember when I was SAD a while ago? Well, now we're past the shortest day of the year, and the sun is coming back!

Today on my drive home, I even got to wear my super awesome sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses, that is. I have gotten the transition lenses in the past, but they don't work in the car, and sometimes give me that creepy, neighborhood perv look, so I'm done with those. I wanted to get some sunglasses, and Hayley took real good care of me and let me get some sweet Ray Bans. They're awesome. I've never had prescription sunglasses before. Thanks, Hayley girl, for takin' real good care of me.

Anyway, so there is sun again on the drive home! Seeing as I currently work in a cube with no available natural light, that is pretty awesome. The next best thing would be to get an office next to a window. :)

Quick tip No. 3

Don't bite your fingernails. Especially in front of your wife.

Happy Anniversary, Hayley!

It has been a year since I married Hayley. It was the best decision of my life. I am so glad she said yes and so happy to have found her. I didn't know if I'd ever find someone like her. Someone who got my weird jokes, liked my crass sense of humor, and who wanted to grow with me. I never thought I would find someone who makes me laugh so much, who I can't stand to live without, and with whom I can do anything. Spending an evening at home doing laundry, cleaning the dishes, and watching TV with for example. I never thought I could enjoy that so much! Ever single second I spend with her, I love. I hate being away from her for long. Those moments seem empty and I just miss her. I miss her when I'm at work, and the anticipation of coming home makes my heart beat faster.

Hayley is beautiful, strong, funny, witty, loving, loyal, smart, an excellent teacher, and my best friend. And I am married to her. I am the luckiest man in the world. I never dreamed fo being so happy and feeling so loved.

Hayley, I love you. It is hard to believe that you would even like a guy like me. I am so happy. You are the best. You're a good friend, a great wife, and you'll be a great mom. I love you more and more with each passing day. When we were engaged, I was shell shocked with how much I loved you and how much you loved me. I thought we really had something great. It seems impossible, but I love you more and more each day and my heart just gets bigger and bigger, and fuller and fuller with how much I love you. I would do anything for you. The best part is, I know it will just keep getting better!

I hope this year has been as incredible for you as it has been for me. I love you. Happy anniversary!

Quick question...

If there REALLY is one secret to a flat tummy--and I KNOW there is because the internet tells me so... on ads on blogs I read, adds on the side of my email accounts, and spam emails I get at work--why hasn't anyone paid the proper amount, then divulged this ONE secret on the internet yet? I mean, you can google up the formula for figuring out Weight Watchers points. You can YouTube up the P90X videos, so why hasn't anyone just stolen this "one tiny secret to a flat tummy" and told the rest of us about it?

And more importantly, if this has already been done, why must I still be innundated with all the ads everywhere I go on the interwebs?

Quick tip No. 2

Friendship is the same as stealing.



Brought to you by our friends at Veridian Dynamics.

I realize this isn't a REAL quick tip (not really the way I intended them to be anyway), but who cares, it's my blog. I promise the next one will follow suit a little better. but if you're not watching Better Off Ted, you should start.

That dentist clean feeling part 2

I went to the dentist today. Remember, I had a cavity. I was NOT looking forward to it. But what's done is done, and hopefully, my tooth will feel better now. But I have a question. Does anyone else metabolize the numbing shots and stuff really fast? Because I sure do. Even most of my experiences with the gas is that it does nothing. (Even though one of my experiences was quite hysterical... ask me about it in person, it's funnier when I tell it.) But the shots wear off quick and I need more than one. Or two...

If this was one of those fancy blogs, I might give some kind of prize if you can guess how many shots I needed this time. But this isn't that kind of blog, and I don't have any prizes to give away. If you want to guess, stop reading now... the rest of you, it was six or seven shots. I can't remember exactly and lost count at six, and there were a few applications of some sort after the shots that I don't think were shots. But then again, I was numb (except for my actual tooth nerves), so maybe I couldn't tell.

Anyway, after just over 2 hours, I was completely un-numb. And the rest of the day, I can feel my teeth. And we all KNOW how I hate that... Guess I'll see 'em in six months and hope I don't have cavities again!

Our Harmony ®

We got a new HD TV for Christmas*. And after we got our carpet, we couldn't find the remote for our DVD/Surround Sound system. Luckily, the surround sound system and the little DVD player in our room are made by the same company, so we could use the one for both. But it didn't change the volume. And either way, we had a remote for the TV, the DVD/Surround Sound, and one for the Cable. Too many remotes.

So we got this lovely item. The model is "Harmony," so we keep calling it "our harmony." Not the harmony, but Our harmony. We're funny, deal with it. It's little pricey (more than the $20 universal remote...), but it's awesome. You set up the remote on your computer. Not by pushing a billion codes into the remote, hoping for one that will work so you don't have to try the next code on the list. On top of that, if something doesn't exactly work right (after you've programmed the remote... on your COMPUTER), you push the "help" button, and it will do something else to fix the function, then asks if that worked. If it did, you click "yes" on the view screen (oh yeah. it has a view screen), and presto, it's fixed.

On top of fixing problems automatically, it has "events" you can set up. Like, if I push the "watch TV" button, it will turn the TV on, make sure the cable is on (but I programmed the remote to know that the cable box never turns off so it can record stuff on the DVR when we're not watching TV), and turn the TV to the right input setting. If I push the "watch a movie" button, it turns the TV on, turns it to the right input setting, and turns the DVD player on and starts playing.

And the view screen. There are certain buttons on the TV remote that aren't standard on this universal remote. So the view screen adds them. Four buttons can show up at once, and you can scroll through multiple pages of additional buttons. Like the aspect ratio. I can change that whenever by pushing button 1 on page 2 on the view screen. Pretty awesome, huh?

Ok, not that awesome, but on top of that, it has a GLOW button! I mean, come ON! It GLOWS when I tell it to! Oh, and we only have to use one remote now. And that's pretty awesome.



*We actually got the TV in August... for Christmas.